


Gonna know we were here

by brightsummernights



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Carrie, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Arguing, Car Accidents, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Missing Persons, Paralysis, Reunions, Slut Shaming, Song Lyrics, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 12:43:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 37,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5091173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightsummernights/pseuds/brightsummernights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You got the gas, I got the matches<br/>We gonna turn this town to ashes<br/>Cause they ain't never seen nothing like us<br/>Ain't heard loud till we turn it up<br/>I got the wild, you got the crazy<br/>You know that's why I love you, baby</p><p>Jason Aldean - Gonna know we were here</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky 1/2

**Author's Note:**

> Collection of oneshots, some fics are going to have two parts. Probably mostly Huntbastian, but I'm not saying anything absolutely sure, because I tend to experiment. Even though Wild Hearts by R5 is such a lovely song, it was always supposed to be a temporary theme for this project. Couple of days ago I truly noticed Gonna know we were here for the first time, and it was love on first hearing. I also changed the name. Diamond name was from one of my favourite songs, but it never had the right nature. 
> 
> Tumblr of mine is autumnsaturdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It conquers his whole mind, two bright red letters staining Hunter's skin like bloody marks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to share advices for life so here you'll get one more. Don't listen to Sad Song by We The Kings. It gets stuck in your head, and then your inner readio will play it about 500 times. It's a lovely song though. 
> 
> Today I want to turn your skies from grey to blue. Monday and Collar from my drabble-collection Bulletproof. And this one. It just happened, but this is the last one. This is going to be in two parts, because I prefer it that way. All four pieces of this universe are very light D/S. Sub!Hunter

Sebastian almost cancels whole thing when he leads Hunter inside of tiny, shady tattoo parlour, and man behind the counter asks if his slave should be tied up so they could get the work done. Even though Sebastian has a nature of a real dom – he breathes and drinks control - images of crying boys and girls are almost too much for him. After resisting tattoo they were surely beaten up.

Quick glance tells him that his gorgeous submissive isn't hesitanting. Hunter waits Sebastian's decision with patience. If he really agreed to use ropes, Hunter would take it too, because he trusts Sebastian, and that's why Sebastian is with him. After their latest collar discussion Hunter had been little off, much more absent-minded than usually, and even though Sebastian has always respected his boundaries, hasn't pushed physical closeness if Hunter has preferred spending time with his computer and writing programme or going to the gym, he had found it weird how his submissive turned away from his kisses in the bed, wanted to sleep on the edge of the bed instead of falling asleep his face buried in the back of Sebastian's neck.

Then Hunter told what was so heavy and distracting in his mind. He showed pictures from a magazine, young model boys and their tattooed, delicate hands. Sebastian knew what those letters in different colours meant. He didn't need to be told that. ”You want this. You seriously want to walk around with my initials on your skin and whole world watching them?” Sebastian kept sceptism out of his voice, because anybody with working eyes was able to see that it was an important issue. Hunter nodded, completely calm even though Sebastian felt like he was losing it. He was overwhelmed by it, not in a good way.

”Nobody will be tied up”, he answers harshly, keeping light touch of his fingertips on the small of Hunter's back. Sebastian would never leave most precious element of his life alone with this man who has untidy teeth and a look of predator in his eyes.

But he knows how to do his job. Nobody is talking when tattoo is forming. Only small movements of Hunter's throat tell that he is slightly tense and nervous, uncomfortable in an unknown situation. Sebastian pets his hair, still wondering what he did to deserve such a gorgeous partner.

It conquers his whole mind, two bright red letters staining Hunter's skin like bloody marks. In his dreams them are open wounds, carved by a knife. Slave tattoo. Brand. Only unpleasant words fill Sebastian's head even though he can see that Hunter is more relaxed than for a long time.

Guys at the work start giving him small nudges he isn't used to. ”Finally you marked you boy properly, Smythe. They make so inappropriate questions and comments that Sebastian has to use all his will power so he wouldn't punch anybody. He wouldn't ever share it to anybody how Hunter blows him, taking Sebastian's cock easily, trusting, warm eyes looking up, wanting to find Sebastian's own gaze. Arousal is mixed with fear that almost brings tears in his eyes. Afterwards Sebastian hides his tears in the shadows of their dim bedroom, hoping that Hunter doesn't spot tears from his gently muttering voice.

Nothing has changed and still everything feels different, like they would approaching a line which would change their whole relationship, everything that has been built in last decade. Sebastian wants a time-out.

”Keep Stacey away from him”, Sebastian says sternly. His father raises one eyebrow, surprised by his comment. ”Sebastian, Stacey can be unpredictable and demanding, but she is your sister. She would never abuse your submissive.”

”That's right. She is my sister, and that's the exact reason why I don't trust her. I know her. You can never know what she is going to do. Just don't leave them alone. Or it's actually better if they don't meet at all. No family dinners when I'm not around.”

Older Smythe of the room sighs deeply. ”If you are sure. Of course I respect your decision.”

”I think I need some time and space. I'm not going to keep in touch with you this summer, gorgeous. But you definitely need to contact me if there is an emergency, if you get in an acc...”

”Sebastian, I'm an author with three published books. I'm not going to be next J.K. Rowling, but I know well enough what is an emergency. I'm not going to bother you.” He smiles with bravery, but it doesn't last long. Hunter wants a hug before they will be separated.

”This feels like end”, Hunter breathes into his skin, an arm wrapped around Sebastian's shoulders. Sebastian tries to make a lasting memory of his scent, dry wool, coffee, dedorant and toothpaste. ”I'm not going to just disappear”, he makes a promise, saying temporary goodbye to Hunter with a kiss on his forehead. Then Sebastian has to pull himself away if he plans to catch his plane. One last glance over his shoulder tells that Hunter looks smaller than he truly is, and horribly broken.


	2. We're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky 2/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”He is. My prince.”

He travels through old home country, visiting cousins and old friends, and wondering why he hasn't ever brought Hunter there. Sebastian takes his young cousins to shopping and girls are delighted when their funny relative with lots of patience and thick wallet lets them visit most expensive stores of the town. Sebastian doesn't see them too often so he buys anything as long as it's not inappropriate for their age. ”Can I see again that picture of your boyfriend?” Marie, older one of them asks easily. Sebastian had been watching it almost all the time in last few weeks. It's his favourite of Hunter, was taken on the beach. Picture shows his gorgeous profile and unfocused look in his eyes. Hunter hadn't noticed him snapping the picture.

He had forgotten how he loves this country. It's easier to breathe at his old home where people keep their nature as a secret, it's something what happens in bedrooms and homes, but it doesn't shape anybody's whole future, reputation or demeanor. People have equal changes in front of the society and law. Sebastian looks at his cousin. ”Sure”, he replies with a small smile on his face, offering his phone to the twelve year old.

"He looks like a prince”, Marie comments with confidence, head under her dark hair and red bow clearly full of sweet day dreams.

”He is. My prince.”

”Are you bringing him here? You could get married in grandma's garden. Aurora and I would love it.” Sebastian tries to swallow thickness from his throat. It's true. Here he could take Hunter as his legal husband. They would be equals on the paper. No more inappropriate comments about his other half, no questions demanding stories about his skills in bed. Just Hunter and Sebastian, and Sebastian guiding his life like he is used to do. He could cherish Hunter, use every day of his life to make him happiest man on earth.

_I'm coming home._ First message for weeks. He had written postcards in Paris, in a landscape which was like a pink fairytale.  _I want you naked on this bed,_ Sebastian almos scribbled in his hotel room, but for a moment he was shy, ending up changing tone of his message to home, to his long-time lover. 

”Strawberry.” It's the first word Sebastian says when they meet at the airport again. He has a paper bag full of elegant souvenirs in his shaking fingers, and now Sebastian only hopes that he would really get a change to give them. Hunter startles. That word is familiar, attached to the back of his mind. It needs to be remembered, because even though Sebastian rides on the wave of control in their relationship, he has his bad moments too.

With fingers of one hand he can count situations in which Hunter has used his own. Once Sebastian had spent ten hours at work, headache drumming his temples. He managed to spill coffee on his white dress pants, and got amused looks from all the other workers. When door of their apartment was closed behind him, Sebastian wasn't much more than tight knots of malaise. Instead of agreeing to get into bed with Hunter Sebastian should have gone to gym or for a run. His submissive's small untypical voice is still haunting him sometimes even though Hunter swore three times that he was forgiven. ”Sebastian. You are hurting me”, he told steadily after letting his safe word out. ”It was never part of the deal so I assume your instincts are taking advance of you. Drop it. You need to drop it.”

”What have I done?” he asks, arms still raised towards the hug. Hunter keeps the distance, doesn't touch Sebastian now when he has dropped the S-bomb. He is given a change to decide about next step. ”If it's... If you are angry, if you need to... Not here, please.” Like Sebastian even could. He hates the idea of punishing Hunter physically, Sebastian could never hit him to teach a lesson. Sometimes, on their worst moments he has reacted by denying his presence from Hunter, left him alone in the apartment and spent a night on Jeff and Nick's sofa. Even then he has slept his phone at arm's reach, ready to react if he would have been needed on the other side of the town.

”Let's sit down”, he suggests. ”Can you get me a coffee and something to eat?” Hunter follows simple command, wrapped in the disguise of a question eagerly. Sebastian opens a few buttons from his jacket and relaxes against soft back of his seat.

”Hunter. My darling”, he mutters, making light blush climb on Hunter's cheeks. ”I should have used that word a long time ago, because right now it feels like that you want more than I'm able to give. We have always worked, because you are you, and I am what I am. I want a partner who can rile me on a suitable level. But lately you have seemed to be willing to get a firm hand on your nape and a partner who doesn't allow you to use your own, brilliant brain. I can't be that man, because I know you can be so so much more.”

Seeing Hunter's teeth abusing his bottom lip makes Sebastian more nervous. ”It's not like that. I just want other people to believe that our thing, our relationship and partnership is real. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to behave like you wouldn't be enough. I appreciate everything you have done, and especially things you haven't done to me.”

”I want you to be mine. But I also want to be yours.” Sebastian doesn't see a reason not to reveal the idea he had figured out during his last few days at his real home. ”I want to move back to France. With you. I won't leave you behind if you don't want that.”

Not even a single question, just his still absolutely trusting eyes, and a laughter under his more guarded face. ”Sure. Do we take next plane back there? You need to teach me more French. I'm pretty sure that thing you want to hear in bed isn't anything appropriate.” Sebastian giggles at that, memories of Hunter telling him in broken French how he is so big, and hard and good are bright in his mind.

His initials are still decorating Hunter's hand a year later. But Sebastian has a tattoo too. It was Hunter who chose strong, orange flower shape on his right shoulder. If Hunter wanted to be marked for him, Sebastian had to be too. Slowly he sucks his husband's fingers, enjoying feeling of his naked closeness and laziness of the moment. Flight had been overwhelming, Hunter dozing against his shoulder and some kid screaming his lungs out three rows behind Sebastian, but this place, luxurious villa near quiet beach is totally worth it. Hunter pulls his fingers away, his face softly hopeful. ”I want you to fuck me”, Sebastian tells quietly, hoping immediately that he would have used a softer word. Fucking is for his new boy with whom Sebastian can be full of chaos. Chaos doesn't have a place in the bedroom he shares with his husband. Word is husky and delicious on his tongue, like melting chocolate and sweet kisses. Sebastian wants to spend all his days on earth kissing Hunter, his husband who carries their both last names. He wouldn't forget anytime soon how Hunter had kneeled after the proposal, eyes wide and nervous. He wanted to get Sebastian's last name after his own, wanted to show that way where their relationship had started. Sebastian had said yes, voice full and bright from tears. 

He doesn't look too convinced. Hunter puts his finger's on the line of Sebastian's jaw, making a little movement with his thumb. ”You shouldn't want to do it.” Sebastian feels his heaviness, knows that Hunter is tempted, even willing. Norms are just keeping him from doing it.

”Balance, Hunt. Babe. We have talked about this. I'm yours and you are mine. I'm not saying that I wouldn't have enjoyed the time you have spent on your back or that I wouldn't want to see you spreading your gorgeous legs. I just want to experiment with you.”

Compromise happens. Hunter stays on his back, and Sebastian feels like a sixteen years old virgin when he straddles other man, impaling himself on his lenght. It's a strange feeling, it's like his body would try to resist it, and Sebastian's most primitive instincts hate him for that, but still he wants it, wants to see wondering eyes beneath him and feel Hunter's safe hands on his body.

He is sticky from come and lube, tightness still between his sweaty legs when Hunter's body covers his own. Familiar fingers are wrapped around Sebastian, and touch of a mouth is comforting against his jaw. Sebastian doesn't need words to recognize question in his eyes. Hunter wants a permission to touch him and take a temporary control. ”Of course, babe. Of course.”

After jumping off the edge he is lighter, buries his fingers in his lover's soft hair and just stays there. ”We should go to the beach”, Hunter mumbles. ”Have ice cold drinks behind the house and make love in the sand.”

”Tomorrow, sleepyhead.”


	3. So kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me (2/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian doesn't accept the ring. Not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't mean to be this slow with this one, but here it is now, rest of my Hunger Games-AU from my other collection Whatever happens winners aren't afraid of losing. Part one can be found there. This doesn't contain anything graphical, but there are some mentions of dark themes. If you are really sensitive person, I'd recommend skipping this one. Title is from a song by John Denver.

Arms are put around him. Jeff breathes heavily, small puffs tickling Sebastian. He is unable to move, too terrified to return back to normalty where he should be able to continue without thinking about how they had ruined one of the few good things in life. Hunter had probably left with straight back, clutching his pride because everything else had been taken away. ”Come, sweetie. Please. We can't stay here.” Jeff speaks quietly against the back of Sebastian's neck, his words wise. It's not a sensible move to show all his emotions here even though Sebastian feels like he has been rubbed raw.

Nausea comes outside, far enough from the place where Sebastian had said his final goodbye. He tries to fight against it, because he shouldn't be that weak. Weak is a bitter word in his mouth, ever since his accident Sebastian has been used to try his best, try to reach that line of normalty where all the people around him are already standing. Despite that Sebastian falls on his knees to the thick grass, heavy rain cleaning sweat from his forehead.

Slow hand rubs his back when Sebastian spits to the ground. Jeff pulls him up briskly, keeping his arm around Sebastian. ”I should have gone”, he says suddenly, voice so low that Sebastian isn't sure if he is meant to hear it. He would deserve a heartfelt slap for that comment.

”Don't you ever dare to disparage his gift. You were given biggest gift anybody can get. He gave his life willingly so you could live. So you wouldn't need to go there, drown in the blood of other tributes and make yourself a murderer. He was worried of your soul.”

Sebastian is shivering, would like to shake off that gentle embrace. It's senseless to stand there and let the rain glue their clothes to their bodies. It doesn't help. He is vaguely aware of the location of his home door, and knows that if Stacey spotted them outside, she would come to get him.

Both, him and Jeff remember the reaping four years ago. Sebastian was standing between his friends, his hands itching to entwine their fingers together. He tried to tell himself that danger wasn't real, that a cloud of threat covered only Hunter's head. When that name came, Jeff went pale, shade of green covering his face, and only Sebastian's hand kept him up. ”Did it really happen?” he asked with damp eyes, fear making him small.

Sebastian didn't have time to nod before body brushed his own, and Nick passed them both.With a clear voice he said those two, destructive words. ”I volunteer.” Sebastian reacted quickly, holding back Jeff who was getting hysterical, his face breaking in tears.

”How would he react? Think about that, Jeff.” Sebastian takes a tentative step towards the door, pulling blond boy with him. Right after getting inside he is tackled by fierce force of nature. Helpless Sebastian falls, causing a mess when jackets from the coat rack come with him.

It's his sister, dropping hot, soft tears on Sebastian's face, small hand squeezing his shoulder like she couldn't believe that they are still together. Sebastian smells her shampoo when he is pulled up, two pairs of concerned fingers combing his hair, looking for a possible wound or other minor injury.

”So he went there?” Stacey asks, not waiting for an answer. She squeezes Sebastian between her arms, trying to offer support in a physical grip, because she doesn't know how to give it in words.

”He is in love with me. He loves me probably more than anybody, and now he will possibly die. Why is this my life, Stacey?” She has no answers, only even tighter grip than before those words.

Sebastian knows how this world works. He hasn't eaten on whole day, and is now wrapped in blankets, sitting in the corner of the sofa. With sharp ears and patience he waits for it, that moment when he would become whole Capitol's new favourite charity case. ”What is he wearing?” he wants to know. Sebastian doesn't let longing colour his voice, everyone knows about it anyway.

”Black and gold”, Jeff gives his reply before sitting down. ”Handsome bastard. Most of the women in the audience are probably imagining him in their beds.” Sebastian twitches at that, uncomfortable when he imagines those women who have peace with themselves, their endless legs and soft fabric of expensive dresses. Sebastian can't offer much more than his witty tongue and broken eyes. 

Soft sound tells that also his sister has made it to the living room. Cup of hot chocolate is pushed in Sebastian's hands. ”Starving yourself doesn't help him. Drink it”, she commands, sounding just like their deceased mother.

He sounds so confident when they ask about the boy who was supposed to be this year's tribute. Sebastian hopes that it hurts Hunter too, that in reality he would like to keep it secret. Kisses and hands on his body feel so implausible, when Hunter is there, under shiny lights of Capitol.

”He is a friend. Very special friend, and hopefully also more when I return home.”

”What is happening?” Sebastian asks, voice cutting and fingers squeezing Jeff's knee so hard that it has to hurt. His best friend doesn't complain though, if he can offer that small relief, it's worth it. Jeff swallows, his observant brown eyes following the happenings on the big screen. ”Wait a minute. They are still fighting, I can't see yet.”

Stacey clears her throat on Sebastian's other side. ”He is still up”, she tells most important fact. ”Has killed two. Pushed a sword almost through some small kid, and took a girl from twelve with a spear. Tried to steall his supplies, that idiot.”

”Not only up”, Jeff continues, tone of his voice reminding glee a lot. ”Big guy from two is leading the Careers. It wasn't a surprise, he looks like he eats knives for breakfast. His district partner, nasty little thing is second after him. But our boy has clearly taken third place.”

Jeff wouldn't want to say anything about it when he sees Hunter getting a blow straight to his shoulder. He had been doing so well, kept his position, killed effortlessly when it was necessary and managed to keep himself out of trouble.

Sebastian looks feverish, his cheeks sunk and lips forming a determined line. ”Hunter is injured”, Jeff mumbles, keeping an eye on the bright screen. His best friend takes a deep breath, hand looking for Jeff's own. ”It's bad, isn't it?”

Jeff eyes Hunter, amazingly brave Hunter whose better hand is now useless weight against his side. His attacker lays on the ground, thick red hair covering her very dead face. He moves quickly, fingers wrapped around a handle of a sharp knife. There is no plan to postpone final battle. Hunter is approaching his last opponent, nasty little girl from district two.

Her manical laughter isn't there anymore. She had seemed to be slightly off balance, not exactly on the right side of sanity, but those features are gone. Now she is only a trained killing machine. Getting a revence for her killed district partner had costed lots of blood. She is weaker than at the beginning, but Jeff isn't sure if it's enough.

They meet in the middle of a clearing, it's not graceful or elegant, both have only one goal in their minds. Hunter is bigger, heavier and also stronger despite his injury, but his opponent has years of thorough training.

Jeff doesn't see a lot, only two bodies rolling around when they are trying to get an upper hand. In the end that girl is on her back, long black hair in a dirty braid. She is still struggling, trying to find enough strenght to push Hunter away, but it's futile. Both of them are panting, and it's a like watching a horrible accident – too fascinating to look away. Hunter uses his bare hand, putting pressure on her throat until life has left green eyes.

”Last kill”, Jeff says, doesn't recognize his own voice, because whole situation is like a dream. After holding Sebastian through sleepless nights, breathing his scent, only hoping that his best friend could have had the person he wanted instead of bony and restless Jeff, it's hard to believe that it's truly happening. Hunter is coming home.

”Do you think he still wants me?” Sebastian asks a few days later. If he hadn't been so lost in his own mind and dark thoughts, he would have noticed that it's not Jeff in the room with him. This person has heavier footsteps on the soft, wooden floor. Sebastian turns around, spreading his arms, trying to show that it's okay, if Hunter wants to be here, he would be welcome.

Hunter knows that a spot under Sebastian's left ear is his weakness. His starts to feel weightless when he is kissed there. Familiar mouth probably leaves faint marks on his skin. Hunter kisses like he would try to paint new picture of Sebastian, replace old one which had become distant and worn during his time in the Arena.

Sebastian has always known that in a physical conflict he would be like an over-grown kitten against Hunter's strenght. Now he is pushed to the bed, one movement from Hunter's body and Sebastian has fallen on the comforter. Kisses he had been able to handle. This is more, this doesn't feel right anymore. Suddenly he is terrified, convinced that it would become something else, something ugly. Why would he want Sebastian anymore? He is just a burden, would be left here with bloody thighs when Hunter would be done with him for good.

Light touch of a hand on his thigh earns an animalistic sound from Sebastian's throat. Weight disappears from the mattress, but Hunter doesn't leave the room. Sebastian listens to his breathing, is pretty sure that Hunter is standing by the window, leaning his forehead against cool glass.

”Of course”, he comments, voice shaking untypically. ”I just assumed... After all I don't really have a right to demand anything from you. It wasn't your decision.” They are quiet, and Sebastian is thankful that Hunter doesn't seem to be going anywhere. After hearing his soft, tired voice Sebastian is pretty sure that he had just panicked, got overwhelmed when everything happened so fast.

”I have a ring in the pocket of my jacket.”

”Come here, doofus”, Sebastian calls, showing his relief in his voice. Hunter obeys, placing himself near Sebastian who sits up, seeking a support from Hunter's body. ”You have to learn my pace again”, he tells Hunter, offering a kiss on his cheek after some fumbling. ”I'm slow. I wouldn't want to be, but I am. Your whole caveman-thing scared the hell out of me.”

They share the darkness. Intimacy is somehow even better when Sebastian is aware that Hunter can't see much better than him. Kisses and touches are slightly clumsy, don't find right spots so easily, but it doesn't matter when he is guided to Hunter's warm, waiting lap. ”Love you.”

It hurts and feels good at the same time. Hunter hasn't forgotten his body language, pinch of a sensitive nipple draws a full moan from Sebastian, when usually slightly cynical curve of his lips is turned into pure pleasure. Hunter steals those moans in the kisses, cherishing every muffled sound. They aren't safe, wouldn't ever be, but they have so much more than he had considered possible. In the rhythm of their bodies and tired muscles of his thighs it becomes too much to handle. Losing control of his body would terrify Sebastian if Hunter wasn't there, following Sebastian's rapid breathing and his tightening body.

He is lowered on the bed carefully, stains on their bodies not worth their full attention. Sebastian knows that Hunter is there, facing him, tired smile probably trying to find a place on his handsome features.

”I don't know if it was a lie. But they told me that it would be possible to fix you, give your sight back.” Sebastian's heart sinks. He is weirdly disappointed because he had always assumed that Hunter is that one person who genuinely doesn't care that Sebastian is imperfect. World of colours is so close, Sebastian can literally touch it, but somehow it had became less significant. He still has Stacey whose parfumes Sebastian has memorized, and Hunter who doesn't mind when curious fingers touch his face, and a low voice hums at the familiarity. There is a light touch of Hunter's lips on his skin when he is taken from behind, shaking arms supporting weight of his upper body. Whenever Jeff comes through the front door, he brings smell of fresh bread with him.

Now he speaks in Sebastian's neck, contact making his voice really small. ”It would have had a horrible price. Getting your sight back would have asked sex slavery. From me.” His voice cracks, tears painting stripes on his face. ”I'm so sorry.”

”It wouldn't have been worth it”, Sebastian replies, fingers reaching back of Hunter's head. He uses little pressure, hoping that Hunter takes the hint. Their lips meet each other in a messy kiss. Sebastian doesn't let him go but keeps Hunter close. ”Do you think that getting my eyes back would have made me happy when I wouldn't have had you? I'm not that selfish. You saved me from certain death, managed to continue my life when it was already at gunpoint.”

Hunter sleeps with a knife under his pillow. It is showed to Sebastian, his fingers are put on the cold surface so he wouldn't hurt himself accidentally. ”I still spend most of my nights at the Arena, where all those other kids have weapons and I have my bare hands. Sometimes you are there too, and I'm using my body to protect you even though it's so useless.”

Sebastian doesn't accept the ring. Not yet.


	4. S + H

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...We have to do exactly right shit to survive in the tank of sharks, and it annoys people that Carrie doesn't follow the rules."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually I should be reading a stupid book about electricity. The book I'd genuinely like to read is about webometrics so sometimes I can only wonder how much my life truly sucks. Couple of days ago I finished one of my old favourite books, Carrie. I think Carrie freaks me out so much because themes in it are so timeless. I have always felt especially sorry for Tommy and Sue, but instead of giving them happy ending they deserved, I wandered to do something else, and decided to write Carrie from the perspective of HB. I have been balancing between original book and 2013 movie, and simple ignoring of canon.

Sebastian has always been intelligent, able to interpret situations really quickly. He is socially graceful, gets along with people if he only wants to, and he understands perfectly well why Hunter is asking a permission to take Anna to prom. Their foreheads are pressed together, Sebastian's fingers clutching lapels of Hunter's coat. Slowly he takes a step back, still longing for Hunter's comforting closeness.

Soft worry in his pale blue eyes tells that Hunter is waiting for a thunderstorm, long rant that would question his feelings, their whole simple relationship. Maybe he shouldn't accept it, at least not entirely. He is hard to handle to Hunter's sport buddies, kings of social kingdom of high school world. Sebastian is gay, had realized it short after his thirteenth birthday when a cheesy message from the prettiest blonde of their class had mostly terrified him. He doesn't agree to carry a mark of shame because of that. They can't touch him, as a best bro of Hunter Clarington, second best player of basketball team Sebastian is protected. Hunter hasn't been able to prevent all the bruise flowers on his skin, but he has probably saved Sebastian from several broken bones. Whenever boys have tried to say something, Hunter has simply glared them into quiet submission.

But when Hunter locks the door of his room, and kisses Sebastian so softly, like he would be something small and dangerously fragile, it's too simple to forgive those moments when Hunter hides himself, can't take Sebastian's hand in school or let his boyfriend show his pride by wearing Hunter's jersey.

”I'll cancel if you want”, Hunter says, boyish honesty on his face. If Sebastian wanted that, magical evening and approving smile of his demanding father would be sacrified sooner than he could ask Hunter to reconsider whole idea. Sometimes he secrectly thinks that Clarington household would have much less toxic atmosphere if Hunter's mother was still alive.

”No, it's okay”, he lies, trying to ignore glassy feeling in his eyes. Sebastian wouldn't cry, not even a single tear would escape through his walls. ”Just don't kiss her. At least not on the lips.” Hunter chuckles at that, pressing a quick kiss on Sebastian's mouth.

He knows what's in the air, Hunter is relieved, would like to reassure with his touch that Sebastian is the only one who means something, and if he could wait for few more months, until next autumn, Hunter would get him the moon from the night sky.

Sebastian presses his hand on Hunter's chest, pushing lightly, like testing his strength against other boy. Look on Hunter's face almost breaks his heart. He is ready to spill promises to be better and tell that he wouldn't ever hurt or force Sebastian. Both of them are scared that this fragile thing would end, and that makes them melodramatic. ”Movie and cuddles?” he suggests, swallowing burst of emotions caused by Hunter's concern.

They watch a movie, both laying in Sebastian's wide bed, Hunter holding him close. They had been circling each other since last autumn, both scared of those new, almost uncontrollable feelings. It was Sebastian who took that step which could have ruined everything. With determined, nearly angry hands he pulled his life-long best friend closer and made his lips numb with a fierce kiss. ”Do it again”, Hunter laughed, his face suddenly relaxed.

”Did you know that Tommy is taking Carrie White to prom?” It doesn't have the effect he hoped. Instead of slight amusement and surprise Hunter's face is again covered in a layer of worry.

Once Sebastian asked his twin sister Stacey why all the females of the school seemed to dislike Carrie so strongly. She bit her pencil, her face thoughtful. ”I think bitches like Chris Hargensen just want to torture her. It's almost pervert, I think. But personally I find Carrie purely infuriating. It's something irrational. As girls we have to try so much. We have to do exactly right shit to survive in the tank of sharks, and it annoys people that Carrie doesn't follow the rules.”

”I don't like that. Is it a prank? I have always thought Ross is a good guy.”

”It's some kind of apology from Sue. For the happenings in the girls' dressing room.”

Hunter drops the topic. Girls' dressing room is something they don't want to touch. Even thinking about Carrie at the prom with one of the most popular guys of whole school makes him uncomfortable and worried. Slowly he wraps himself around Sebastian, behaving like an over-grown baby panda. Sebastian is pleasantly surprised, and Hunter doesn't resist his sleepy eyelids.

Carrie White covered in smelly, thick blood and Tommy laying quietly on the stage is least humorous sight Hunter has witnessed in his life. When roaring laughter fills the room, and Carrie starts her long journey through all those mocking faces, Hunter just wants to get out.

Then Rita Desjardin approaches her, hands offered in a motherly gesture. Hunter can imagine what is going on in Carrie's head. Rita Desjardin wasn't able to help her earlier, not really, so she is only part of the crowd, not a real authoritative figure who could drive away all the miserable memories of one young life.

She isn't allowed to touch Carrie. Hunter follows with fear how invisible force seems to throw her against wall of the gym. Bang caused by her body hitting the wall is so loud that he is pretty sure that if ms. Desjardin isn't already dead, she would be that very soon.

Some people are getting a look of panic on their faces, but all his classmates don't seem to realize what kind of danger is hanging above their heads. Anna is still giggling, Hunter doesn't know if she is getting hysterical or not, but a brisk slap on her face stops that offensive sound. ”Let's go”, he says sharply, pulling her hand so hard that it will probably leave bruises. Bruises would be an insignificant price if her life was saved tonight.

Fear is raising in the gym, and he hears a vague message travelling from one person to another. _Carrie closed the doors. We can't get out. We can't fucking get out._ Hunter's thinking is horribly calculating He doesn't care what Carrie is planning or is she really planning something. It's not sensible to try through main doors. It's not working and people would only get stomped on.

”Take your shoes off, we have to run!” he tells Anna who is completely quiet, tears of confused fear ruining her carefully done make-up. Quickly she kicks those high, blue heels away and then follows Hunter who is still holding her hand in his tight grip.

Small corridor with a narrow back door is still empty. Hunter reaches it with about 20 classmates following at his heels. Panicky beeping in his ears Hunter tries the door, suddenly absolutely sure that his guess had been wrong, and they would die here, like animals without a change to fight back.

Click of the door makes all the tension in the air disappear. Carrie had forgotten back door giving them a change to live. Screams and sounds of alarms begin when they are outside, realizing that all the other people except their little group are still inside.

Hunter kneels, breathing fresh night air and wiping his forehead on the sleeve of his expensive suit.

Night hadn't been that bad, actually it had been really good. Sebastian hadn't really looked forward quality time with his sister, but he has a tendency to forget that Stacey is the person who knows him best, shares his not so pleasant sense of humor and can convince him that watching Mean Girls is a sensible way to spend one's time. Stacey had painted her fingernails with mint green nail polish and forced also her brother to take a foot bath.

Now he is standing in front of huge glass wall of their living room, and can't understand the sight he is witnessing. His mind tries to protect its carrier, Sebastian's imagination is telling him that it's only an especially vivid sunset painting the school building.

Quiet sound behind him tells that Stacey has limped in the room. Leaning on her crutches she reaches Sebastian, still perfectly elegant in a pink top and a pair of denim shorts despite her injury. Less bright idea to try Sebastian's old skateboard had happened in the steady presence of King Alcohol. He still remembers how his sister screamed in pain. ”Do you see same as I see?” Sebastian wants to know.

”Fucking school is burning”, she blurts out immediately, swear word sounding weird on her lips. Sebastian is out of the house before she has even time to turn around. ”Dammit”, she swears, her eyes following a running figure through the glass.

Cars have been parked messily, most of the vehicles have been just left there. Sebastian spots several open doors and hears faint sounds of forgotten cell phones. People are trying to find out if their loved ones are okay or not.

He can't continue without stopping. Gym is in fire, Sebastian can feel the heat of orange flames on the spot where he is standing. If he stayed there, warmth caressing his face would get almost painful. He can already feel first sweat drops forming on his skin.

There is a mass of people behind the school building. They have been gathered around something he can't see yet. Sebastian inhales deeply, trying to win nervous chattering of the people with his voice. ”Hunter!” he yells, voice breaking when Sebastian tries to keep beast of panic asleep in his chest.

Sue Snell is standing outside of the circle of people. Messy blond hair is tied in the back of her neck. She is wearing sweatpants and a loose top, shivering in the cool spring air. ”Have you seen Hunter?” Sebastian asks, jogging to the girl. Seeing Sue's dead blue eyes makes him regret those selfish words. He isn't only one with a burden to carry.

”Tommy is dead”, she stutters. ”Tommy is dead. Carrie killed them all. All of them are dead.” Clumsily Sebastian pats her back. He isn't wearing much more than Sue, but still Sebastian takes off his shirt, and puts it on her shoulders. It doesn't feel like a good idea to let Sue go when she is in that state, repeating vague sentences, eyes following her own inner horror movie. Finally one of the women embraces her, promising that she would try to contact Sue's parents.

Sebastian turns around, only wanting one person near him. Tired voice yells his name, barely carrying over all those people. He is undamaged, wave of terror in his bright eyes. On same moment both of them run, Sebastian makes some girl in a yellow dress fall, but it's forgotten when they meet at the halfway.

He is still wary, assumes that even a hug would be too much for Hunter's precious reputation, but Sebastian gets a pleasant surprise. Soft squeal leaves his lips when his feet leave the ground. They fall together, both looking for a kiss. Sebastian finds himself on top of Hunter and now he knows kissing is allowed. ”You are alive”, he says, because real confessions, _I wouldn't know what to do without you, I love you, I don't wanna see next autumn without_ you feel still too overwhelming.


	5. Tattoos on this town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”Everything is great as soon as I have broken first bone from his body.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://otpdisaster.tumblr.com/post/141290648025/person-b-brutally-torturing-person-c-out-of-pure
> 
> If you like Blaine, I recommend to pass this one.
> 
> I truly think this fic isn't anything specially gloomy, but among my usual stories full of sunshine and fluffiness this is definitely one of the darker texts of mine. 
> 
> Borrowed title from Jason Aldean.

It's an old abandoned-looking house where he takes Blaine. After chaining his hands to the water pipe shorter man is still unconscious, stripe of drool on his jaw. Hunter had managed to surprise him outside of Blaine's residence, when he had dared to come out without his usual hunk bodyguard. It had been childishly easy to drop him from straight feet with one careful hit, and drag his boneless form to the back of Hunter's car.

Hunter has a reputation of a short-tempered man, but still he waits with patience on his simple chair. There isn't much in the room, just some rags in the corner, and a rusty sink that has seen better days. Lonely bulb on the ceiling is illuminating barely half of the basement, and dark stains on the floor shouldn't be examined too closely. Blaine isn't first man who has been brought here to have a nice little talk with Hunter, future boss of Clarington family. Most of them have also left the basement alive.

Finally Hunter snaps out of his trance when Blaine doesn't show any signs of waking up. With a frustrated grunt he leaves the room, and goes upstairs where one member of his trusted team is waiting. Jeff, one of Hunter's two closest men leaves his vantage point at the dirty window to give him a bucket of ice cold water. He has Stacey in the tree at the main road, and Nick at the halfway. If Blaine's people came to look for him, Hunter would get a warning immediately. ”Everything okay, boss?” Jeff wants to know, and Hunter nods, line of his jaw tight. ”Everything is great as soon as I have broken first bone from his body.”

Bucket of water does what time couldn't do. Blaine is definitely awake when freezing coldness floods his clothes and body leaving him cough with confusion in his dark eyes. ”Clarington? What the hell?” he asks, pretending that it wasn't him who painted Sebastian's body with bloody lines.

Hunter can't wait anymore. For three torturious days he had been sitting by Sebastian's sickbed, watching his bruised face, knowing that there were bandages and injuries under heavy covers. It had been his fault, Hunter had been the one who left Sebastian vulnerable and unprotected, but because Hunter can't really punish himself, Blaine would be coughing blood in the end.

When other man spits through thick blood, his nose broken, Hunter can again see more than red haze. ”He had the ring. Sapphire on his left middle finger. He is a civilian under our protection. Sebastian didn't have anything to do with family business. Why the hell did you attack him? What is moving in your damned ugly head?"

Cracking bone in his left hand brings a panicky scream through the house. Hunter doesn't worry about the noises, these lands belong to the family and it's miles to closest houses.

Hunter assumes he knows the answers. Younger son of the Anderson family had seen Sebastian as weakest link of Clarington chain. Why should he have tried Jeff who has probably more skills in hand-to-hand combat than Hunter himself, or Nick who is always armed and vigilant, when there had also been Hunter's lover, journalist in his Converse shoes and skinny jeans, working with his second novel, his head filled with articles, night clubs and pop culture phenomena, not ugly side of his boyfriend's life.

It was so easy to get attached, and steal those days and weekends,when topic of the day wasn't smuggling or blackmailing. On Sebastian's black sofa he ate bad pasta and meatballs, and napped with a white cat resting on his stomach. Sebastian made a protective net of music and movies – maybe he didn't know stories behind occasional limp in Hunter's walking or sensitive spot on his side – but he understood everything about his sleepless nights and almost permanent frown on his face. Hunter loved that sight when Sebastian made breakfast in his underwear and one of his too big superhero t-shirts. Usually he tempted Sebastian into his lap, and made him come in his underwear like a teenager kid. "I hate you", his lover told in breathless voice, making Hunter laugh.

Sebastian hasn't ever held a gun in his life, and if Hunter's nemesis had been someone more cold-blooded than Blaine Anderson who isn't much more than vanilla pudding and ugly bowties, Sebastian wouldn't have made it to the gates of Clarington manor. He had staggered from the car to the arms of gardener who always has a gun under his jacket, and another one in his ankle holster.

Hunter stained his hands in his lover's blood when he rushed to the gates, yelling commands to right and left. Sebastian was just watching him with droopy eyelids, hand squeezing his hip. He was getting weak, injuries attacking his body everywhere. ”It hurts, Hunter.” _I don't wanna die,_ Sebastian told behind those simple words.

"I'll take care of everything. You are going to be all right", Hunter told him, lips brushing Sebastian's cheek. In his mind Hunter was already cursing family doctor who just wasn't able to appear in 30 seconds.

Stacey Smythe, best markswoman of the family had rewarded him with a sharp kick straight to his crotch when she heard about her brother. ”I told you it wasn't wise to leave him in the darkness.” Hunter listened her angry comments through fog of purest white pain he had ever felt. Finally Stacey had understood that it was pretty pointless to confront her boss when everything he was able to worry about was his fragile manhood.

 ”Oh god, I'm sorry. But you are an idiot. Why did I let you decide about anything? Sebastian could have had a gun, he wouldn't have been helpless against that Anderson asshole.” Angry muttering accompanied them when Stacey rubbed his back lightly, trying to find a genuinely apologetic look on her face.

”You didn't want to go to a date with me”, Blaine mumbles, looking away from Hunter. Satisfaction warms Hunter's chest when he sees Blaine's tongue playing with one of his teeth. ”What? Apparently you are even more stupid than you look.”

 ”You know this means war. If you don't let me go, my family is going to attack yours. Nobody is dead yet. It's possible forget this.”

”I don't think so. Cooper and your father are intelligent men. They have assimilated rules of this world. You broke the rules. Sebastian didn't do anything wrong. You did.”

Hunter straddles other man, and Blaine has no space to evade his hands before there is a steady pressure on his throat. He could be killed so easily, but Hunter has no intention to do that. This should be an experience Blaine can remember for the rest of his life.

”Of course there is your little pretty pet, Kurt. You probably think at least he is coming for your help. I have news for you. I already have a man at his heels. That little gun he is carrying is so cute, and apparently he has taken few amateur courses at combat, but it's going to be nothing against one of my best men. Did you want to be a macho with him? Couldn't even give him a gun that could truly harm someone?”

Blaine is struggling in his grip, his mocking words making those movements even more frantic. ”Don't worry”, Hunter hushes him, his voice calm and almost sweet. ”Jackson will only ensure that Kurt doesn't come to distract us. Not even a single hair will be cut from his pretty head.”

”Welcome to the world of pain, Blaine Anderson.” Like hypnotized Blaine's eyes follow the knife Hunter shows him. He knows what it means.


	6. Wreck my plans, baby that’s alright, this is a drop everything kind of thing (1/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like in the past, Sebastian was a luxury he couldn't afford.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://brightsummerblues.tumblr.com/post/135430024440/hold-my-fucking-hand-loser-were-using-the-buddy
> 
> Tense isn't same through whole text, and that has been done intentionally. 
> 
> I love Luke Bryan and I love Crash My Party.

”Hold my fucking hand, loser. We are using the buddy system for the rest of our lives.” Sebastian's hand is offered to him, and it looks steady, but Hunter is the person who knows him. Even back in high school he was aware that Sebastian was much more than shamelessly flirty eyes, and dirty comments, and some of those things behind his barricades were painful.

Slowly he turns his gaze from Sebastian to a bunch of his closest relatives. Grandma Elisabeth gives him a smile, small and encouraging gesture. If he hadn't already been kicked out of the family house, father would do it now, that stony and condemning look on his face is. Michael Clarington has put one strong arm around his mother's delicate shoulders. She is like a dove next to her broad husband. With Amanda Clarington Hunter could work, she could even learn to like Sebastian eventually if she wasn't living in the judging shadow of his father. No help coming from that direction either.

They shouldn't have come. Usually Hunter avoids family meetings where he needs to tolerate more than two of his relatives at the same time, and if he attends, he definitely leaves Sebastian home. But it's grandma Elisabeth's birthday. She had taken an instant liking to Sebastian, and that's why Sebastian had gotten that special, soft smile on his face. ”She is the one who told you that you should be proud to have me, right? I like her.”

Spacious house was filled with Hunter's aunts, uncles and cousins, but there were also a few young women he remembered vaguely from his childhood, birthday parties and riding lessons. He knew immediately why they had been invited even though that idea tasted so sour and disgusting in his mind. Anna and Grace are such great girls, in different situation Hunter would have gladly exchanged pleasantries, but they had been brought to the party to annoy Sebastian who hadn't tolerated that kind of behaviour for too long.

Those simple acts had brought them to this tense situation where Sebastian had apparently just proposed to him, his eyes genuine and wanting even though this situation had forced him to defend his territory.

Grandma Elisabeth may like Sebastian who reminds her of her less appropriate and much wilder youth, but any of his family members hadn't helped him when Hunter travelled to the city as a bright-eyed, terrified high school graduate. It was Sebastian who wandered to the coffee shop where he was working, bag full of thick books hanging on his hip, elegant fingers stained with red paint.

He fell apart. Because there was a familiar, kind face, a person who wasn't immediately demanding merits or achievements, but was only genuinely concerned about his well-being. ”What the hell has happened to you?” Sebastian asked over his coffee cup. After leaving a fat tip he had taken a table in the back corner, observing Hunter's figure behind his opened, shiny laptop.

”Life”, Hunter grunted. He would have loved to catch up with Sebastian who was more modest than before, but still very aware of his good looks in those ass-hugging jeans, and a deep green button-down beneath his thick jacket. But there was a paper to write, and a morning class waiting for him. Just like in the past, Sebastian was a luxury he couldn't afford.

He may have remembered Sebastian's face, but Hunter had apparently totally forgotten that if Sebastian only was interested enough, he was very talented at getting to the bottom of things. His barricades were shattering, Hunter didn't find strength to resist Sebastian's questions which were sharp like needles. There was so many of them, so in the end he just spilled whole story, how he was so tired, how he only wanted to feel safe, and live with the knowledge that there would be food in his stomach also next day.

Hunter felt pathetic, he was supposed to make it work and take this city and his studies with confidence, not to weep like a 12-year old who hadn't gotten tickets to One Direction-concert, but instead of confusion and mocking there was only warm hand touching his own. ”You won't go that class tomorrow. You are coming to my place to have a warm meal before spending your night on my couch. I also want to hear about your apartment. It's probably on some shady area where you are sharing your living space with whores and drug dealers.”

Maybe there used to be some silent extra feelings. It's possible that he was nursing a little crush, but still Hunter didn't mean to fall in that relationship, originally he was even against Sebastian's idea to share his apartment. ”I know those shoeboxes. I have an extra room”, he told in the living room where wide windows allowed them to adore lights in the dark city. Hunter was wrapped in blankets, a slice of pizza and coke waiting for him on the wooden table, next to pile of old newspapers and a few library books.

”It's not charity, Clarington. I wouldn't make this offer to all my old buddies. I think we could be better together than without each other. Your life is approaching that point where you will jump under a train, and well... I guess I can admit that you can have only that many one-night stands before it gets a little bit lonely. It could be good to have company.” Sebastian crossed his legs, avoiding Hunter's eyes.

It didn't take long to notice than even though apartment was full of books and Sebastian's notes, he didn't seem to attend his classes too often. Hunter didn't pay too much attention. Even though that insignificant sum of money Sebastian asked as a rent was more ridiculous than demanding, he still had enough on his plate in a form of his school work and regular shifts at the coffee shop. He worked less than before, and suddenly there was also precious free time, changes to go to gym or to library just for fun, or even share his nights with Sebastian, watching some crappy horror movie. His new housemate was cuddly. Usually Sebastian moved closer slowly, little by little until his head was resting on Hunter's lap. He had to avoid inappropriate thoughts containing Sebastian's talented mouth, when he was so close that Hunter was able to feel shakes of laughter in the contact of their bodies.

Secrets were told at that night when thunderstorm drummed the roof, and Hunter couldn't sleep. Sebastian moved in the apartment, restless feet brought him from his bedroom to the living room. There he spent a few minutes before continuing to the kitchen. It wasn't a surprise when soft knock broke the heavy atmosphere in his own bedroom. ”Hunt? Can I come in?”

Hunter wasn't groggy anymore, pinches of nervousness making his skin sensitive. Sebastian didn't see anything weird in it how he crawled into Hunter's bed, resting his head on his old friend's chest. ”Do you want to hear secrets? Nobody knows about it yet.”


	7. Wreck my plans, baby that’s alright, this is a drop everything kind of thing (2/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw last four lines of the fic on a Teen Wolf gifset.

It was told in the warm darkness of his room, untypically shyly against his collarbone. Sebastian didn't want to become a lawyer, actually it was one of the last things he wanted to be in this world. His voice was just barely audible when he told about paintings, his passion, his talent which hadn't ever been appreciated in his family. ”I had a meeting last week. Meeting about big and serious things. It could become real, Hunt. If I'm only brave enough.”

 ”Of course you are”, Hunter replied without missing a beat. His painfully practical mind was against Sebastian's plans, but he couldn't have ever told it. Sebastian had grown up in a different world, Hunter knew he didn't need to think about money, and if he wanted to chase his dreams, Hunter had nothing negative to say.

”You are adorable, Clarington. I'm so happy that we met again.” Kiss came slowly, he was given time to prevent it, but Hunter just waited. He didn't respond, but slid his arm around Sebastian, trying to hint that it was okay and he didn't want Sebastian to go even though it felt overwhelming that he was there, obviously very willing to repeat that kiss.

 ”I don't want to have sex with you.” At first that comment was like a splash of cold water on his face. Sebastian read him easily, and laughed in the dark room, hand caressing Hunter's cheek.

”Silly. Not now, I meant. In the morning.” Sebastian kept his promise, broke Hunter's sleep with a curious kiss on his neck. Light was golden and cold in the room, and he was nervous, his stomach tight line under a palm of Sebastian's hand. For a moment he just studied Hunter's body. There was no hurry when Sebastian was straddling him, soft fabric of his underwear telling that he was willing and aroused. In his underwear and a too big white shirt he looked young and pure.

”Of course we don't have to”, he finally told, his hand wide and soft on Hunter's chest. It was one of the most difficult things Hunter had ever said, but Sebastian had to get some kind of rational reply. ”I want you. Want you so much. But I don't know how... I just don't want to fuck up.”

”Ah, okay.” He laughed, but that laugh was soft and kind. ”Don't worry about that. You are in good hands.”

He almost had to close his eyes. Sebastian was so natural and easy when he stretched himself with those long fingers, and then impaled himself on Hunter's cock. Raw pleasure made his eyes wide and when he stopped for a moment, abs tight and tense, holding himself on place, Hunter's worried fingers found his thigh. ”Are you okay?”

”Yeah”, he sighed. Hunter just stared at him, one hand resting on Sebastian's thigh, trying to keep his grip of his sanity, because it was too good, Sebastian was too warm and tight and flawless above him. ”I'm here.” Hunter promised over and over again when line of the orgasm made Sebastian's face blank. Slowly he came back to himself, curling up against Hunter's side and wanting to be held.

”You are stuck with me”, he mumbled determinedly.

Sebastian's paintings are weird. But beatiful. He has even used Hunter as a model for one of them. When he last time checked, his face wasn't that blue, but it's still an impressive picture, and it touches something vulnerable inside of him that Sebastian has really taken time to paint Hunter.

It's fights, forgotten palettes and half-empty coffee cups on the kitchen table, and book piles on the living room floor, because it's impossible to fit all of them in their shelves. Sometimes Sebastian disappears in his studio for hours, and when he comes back between bursts of inspiration, Hunter knows what he is asking in slow touches and hesitant looks. He is so glad to give that. It's almost rebellious to forget all the rationality, and just fuck there, against kitchen counter or on the hastily spread blanket in the living room.

”You keep this real”, Sebastian murmurs, green of his eyes exactly as intense as his cock inside Hunter. Possessive hands map his body, and despite burning bond of sex Sebastian's kiss is full of gentleness. ”You are my chain, but it's good kind of connection. Because of you my feet stay on the ground.”

Sebastian is infuriating, he never takes old newspapers out of the apartment, and likes to sing Luke Bryan songs in the shower, but he is also bold and honest. With Sebastian Hunter isn't forced to play any kind of mind games. If something bothers him, he just tells what is wrong instead of hours filled with wordless sulking and judging eyes.

Sebastian leaves blue fingerprints on Hunter's back, and buys him pink highlighters. He isn't fond of cats, but because Hunter has always wanted a pet, they get a tiny ball of white fur. Hunter looks at them, Sebastian lying on the sofa in deep sleep, stripe of green paint on his nose, and Artemis napping on his stomach, and his heart hurts in good way. Weeks become months and months become years, and every day he is less and less scared that it will end soon.

”I'm warning you, son.” A few years ago he might have followed that voice so quickly that it would have made his neck snap uncomfortably, but now Hunter just continues looking at Sebastian. ”You respect me.” It's not a question. Sebastian almost smiles when his reply is given. ”Yes, always.”

 Hunter walks to him, putting distance between his blood family and his real family. Sebastian embraces him, is strong only for him when Hunter feels glares hitting his back. He wouldn't want to do this. They are still his people, and they have had also good moments, but when Hunter turns around, room is lacking understanding atmosphere. Some of his younger cousins look slightly impressed and obviously curious, but in general they don't just understand.

”Hunter... If you are really going to make this choice...” He hasn't ever cut off his father, but Hunter doesn't care anymore. They have never respected his relationship even though Sebastian has been nothing more than neutrally polite. ”Keep your mouth shut."

”Buddy system?” Hunter asks when they are outside, following driveway towards the gates. ”Freaking buddy system? I wouldn't have waited that from Sebastian Smythe.”

Sebastian looks at him in a funny way, tightening his grip of Hunter's hand. ”I wanted you to remember it. I didn't do it to annoy your relatives. Or of course it was my reason, but it was only a small part of it. I had been considering it anyway, browsed even some rings and stuff online. I want you. I want to get married. It has been so long, what we have can't get more real.”

Hunter can't help a grin spreading on his face. He scratches nape of his neck, noticing warm and fond look on Sebastian's face. ”Why do you look at me like that?”

”How?”

”Like I would be your everything.”

”You are.”


	8. Don't wanna close my eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”But it was before seeing my future in your eyes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally in my drabble collection, but then I happened to watch this one tv-show where they used song behind the link, and I was absolutely gone. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkK8g6FMEXE
> 
> Title from same song.

Sebastian never arrives with empty hands. He always has souvenirs of normality, usually two cups of Hunter's favourite coffee and fresh newspaper. Sometimes he brings snacks. At least once a week Sebastian makes a trip to library returning with half a dozen or eight thick novels. Hunter lovers thrillers but doesn't wrinkle his nose at lighter books either. First Twilight book was only an accident among Patricia Cornwell- and Karin Slaughter-books, but they had such an amusing discussion about that one.

”It's me, babe”, Sebastian informs before opening the door. His things are put on the bed before he continues, finding his long-time boyfriend in front of the window. Cup of coffee is offered to him, and Hunter's fingers are cool in the touch. Then Sebastian just breathes his presence, focusing on the moment. Hunter's hair is still damp from the shower, and his shoulders are strong and full of life under Sebastian's touch. He is very much alive. Sebastian's mind is allowed to wander, he returns to the hillside where Sebastian saw more blood than ever in his life, and assumed his boyfriend was dying in their car. Half-blind from his own blood, unbelievable pain in his left leg he tried to crawl, and reach him, hoping to share his lover's last moments so he wouldn't need to be alone.

”I love you.” Obvious is told in those words. With a light touch of his lips Sebastian cherishes Hunter before taking a seat opposite him. Sebastian has grown to accept the idea. When days were only black and white, and his reality didn't contain more than a dismal hospital room, he had been only relieved to hear that Hunter definitely wouldn't die. But it's still a minor shock to see him sitting in the wheelchair, face often unreadable, like he would be waiting for rejection from everybody. He looks completely similar physically with his ridiculously pretty face and strong arms. Only difference is that Hunter hasn't walked even a step after the accident, and wouldn't walk in the future either.

Little by little Sebastian had rebuilt their life. New apartment would be ready in any day, and then he could bring Hunter home. Sebastian misses sleeping with him, curling up against him in cool nights and surprising him with a breakfast in bed. Next step would probably be getting married. He had made those phone calls early, still distant from his own medication. People had been really understanding when he had cancelled everything, and told they couldn't get married on that early spring day.

”Have you thought about the new day for the wedding?”

”I don't think it's a good idea to get married. You never signed up for this, Seb.” He is immediately annoyed. Hunter looks so sure, like Sebastian's opinion about that wouldn't even interest him.

”You aren't absolutely wrong. If this had been back in high school, I would have been a merciless asshole.” Sebastian gets up, letting his fingers touch the wheelchair. Hunter follows his movements with worry in his blue eyes. ”But it was before seeing my future in your eyes. It was long before you scared the hell out of me, and caught me when I was trying to run away. You never stopped believing in me. It's my turn to believe in us.”

It still isn't easy to give everything of himself like this. There is a small voice at the back of his mind telling that it's ridiculous to give raw facts away, taking those words back would be impossible.

”I'm not interested to be your charity case, Seb. You don't need to marry me because you pity me.”

”Fuck you.” Blue eyes widen in surprise, because Hunter hadn't waited for that one. It's almost enchanting to see provoked rage in Sebastian's eyes. He loves this side in Sebastian, his simple passion towards things he considers relevant.

”You are still you, and I'm going to prove you wrong. You don't deserve this. We don't deserve this.”

Days later he is back, same fury making his face sharp, movements of his fingers frustrated. ”I thought about it. I had to find a way to show you that I'm completely fucking serious with you. It's not pity. It's not a dull duty.”

In front of a pair of surprised eyes Sebastian strips easily. Not even a hint of self-consciousness is seen when he peels of his skinny jeans and pulls his shirt over his dark head. He is used to those eyes studying his body. Hunter can't help smiling. Sebastian is just so pretty.

There are black lines marking his skin, and Hunter doesn't understand what they are before first one is shoved to his face. Small, neat numbers have been tattooed using black ink. They form a date, and Hunter gets it right before Sebastian's piercing voice tells the answer. ”We met for the first time.”

On his right ankle he carries date of their first kiss. First time when they had said those three most important words marks the skin on his side. Seeing date of their first time on his hip makes Hunter gasp. ”Sebastian. Didn't you listen what they said about taking relationship tattoos?”

”I might have heard about that. Don't give a fuck about rules like that.” There is one more tattoo. Date of the proposal has earned a place on his chest. ”I think I'm going to take date of our wedding on my other wrist. We just need to make that decision. I don't believe that you wouldn't want to get married, and continue building what we already had. You just think this sacrifice is somehow necessary.”

With routine Sebastian turns Hunter's chair around so he can sit on the bed, facing his other half, and wrap his nude body in the blankets. ”I know what you are thinking, because I know you, Hunt. You think you are completely broken and waste of time only because you can't walk. I see you as miracle. I got everything I had ever wanted when I heard that your life could be saved. Life isn't that simple anymore. Some dreams and goals have to be changed. But it means nothing when you are still here. You are probably afraid that being seen with you embarrasses me, but I have news. I'm not eighteen anymore.”

Hunter looks at him like he would be something sinfully tempting, but also most precious thing he has ever seen. ”Let me marry you”, Sebastian pleads, offering his hand to Hunter. ”Let me love you with everything I have. It's still my favourite day dream to imagine seeing you in a suit on our wedding day. I don't have that many day dreams, because I'm used to get what I want.”

Twelve months later Hunter gets his hands on their wedding pictures. He is hiding in the transparent privacy of the balcony where Sebastian couldn't tease him about his tears. Pictures are full of laughing, happy people. There are cheesy pictures, like feeding cake to each other or kissing at their shared table. Person behind the camera had captured the moment when he was hugging Stacey, who was most suspicious and only one who also dared to tell what she was thinking. ”You have ten seconds to take that back if you want to continue being part of my life”, Sebastian told her.

”I'm so sorry”, Stacey told him, waves of her dark hair tickling Hunter. ”I have never seen him this happy.”

Last one of the pictures brings small tears in the corners of his eyes. Sebastian is kneeling in front of him, smile honest and wide, happiness radiating from him. Instead of the camera Hunter is looking at his husband, his face sickeningly adoring, like Sebastian would be the sun of his world. He puts the pictures on the small table next to him, and lets tears flow freely. With them heavy weight of overwhelming happiness leaves his body.

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming,  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing  
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together  
And I just wanna stay with you  
In this moment forever, forever and ever

Aerosmith - I don't wanna miss a thing 


	9. Supernova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”Seb, babe. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my darker fics. Short hints of domestic violence and rape. You can stop reading when you arrive to the word mind, or continue until last paragraph.  
> I used one of those otp posts from Tumblr as an inspiration for this one, but of course I can't find it now. I'll add it later.

They are sitting facing each other, both of them tied to one of their heavy kitchen chairs. Sebastian has a piece of duct tape on his mouth, and rope sinks in the sensitive skin of his wrists marking him with nasty red lines, but it's nothing compared to watching a man he was supposed to marry approximately half an hour ago. Blood from the wound on his arm has left a sickening stain on the whiteness of his jacket. Hunter's face is a carefully sculptured mask. He doesn't allow any emotions on the surface even though they both of know that a man standing exactly between them is a dangerous one. They witnessed consequences of his actions when emotionally starving Kurt Hummel slept on their sofa without real peace, and found himself on the floor after a soft thump.

It all began in the coffee shop. Sebastian turned around at the counter, pocketing his wallet, ready to go when he happened to notice that Kurt Hummel was sitting in an armchair in a cosy corner. They aren't friends, haven't ever been and wouldn't ever been. For that both of them find annoying each other just too fascinating, but there is a real and genuine connection dancing between mutual dislike and friendly banter.

Naturally Sebastian didn't behave like a decent human being. He took a seat beside Kurt, staring at him intensely. Kurt had curled up in the worn, comfortable chair, his bony fingers drumming a quick, nervous rhythm against red velvet. He threw annoyed looks at him before snapping and spitting a sour question. ”What do you want, Smythe?”

”What's wrong, Hummel?” Kurt flinched, curling in a smaller ball and trying to find even more protection from his coat. There was a lonely suitcase leaning against his chair, and suddenly Sebastian didn't like lack of emotion around Kurt. He was a young talent, lots of success under his belt, articles and interviews painting a picture of a man who had everything he could have ever wanted. There were more willing customers than it was even possible take, because everyone wanted their own piece of this adored fashion designer. Nearly best thing seemed to be another young man who was his avec in fundraisers and parties meant for the elite of the city, dark head always close to Kurt's own, nodding to his comments, smile offered only for him.

When a reply didn't come, Sebastian returned to the counter, hoping that bribing Kurt with coffee would be possible. Other man didn't react to the warm scent of coffee, so Sebastian himself wrapped his cold fingers around the cup.

”I left him.”

”Alright”, Sebastian answered slowly, leaning closer. ”Why are you here, then? If you dumped him, shouldn't he have left the apartment? It's yours, right?”

That made Kurt uncomfortable. Long moment stretched between them like bubble gum until his mouth was opened again. ”I can't go back. He will come from work in 20 minutes and hell will break loose when he notices that I'm gone.”

Images flashed in front of Sebastian's eyes, colourful bruises on silky skin, but Kurt denied that with a determined movement of his head. ”He hasn't ever hit me.”

”Rape?”

”Not that one either. I don't really want to talk about this. I guess I'll take a hotel then”, he mumbled, rising to his feet, thanking Sebastian for the extra coffee in a slightly broken voice.

Sebastian still doesn't know what was his reason to do it. Kurt just wasn't supposed to look like that, like a broken boy, ready to cry in a world where people wouldn't be understanding about his mistake to trust wrong person. ”We have a comfortable sofa. It's not a hotel, but if you'd like to have some housemates too”, he offered, hoping that Kurt wouldn't laugh at the suggestion.

Kurt didn't go out for three weeks. He was jumpy and tense, spent lots of time switching between his phone and a laptop which Sebastian had brought from Kurt's workplace. His co-workers were denied information about whereabouts of the brain behind successful business.

At the airport Hunter gave them some privacy, watching people saying goodbyes or greeting their loved ones, while Sebastian took Kurt's violently shaking hands, steadying them. ”Can you do it Hummel?”

”I need to get away.” That stylish young man they used to know was hidden on that day. Kurt was wearing a pair of worn jeans, and a leather jacket, his obvious disguise making him look several years younger. ”Take care of yourself and him, Smythe”, he only asked, face tight.

After watching plane leave Hunter was wary. He followed Sebastian everywhere, wanting to be sure that Kurt's psycho ex hadn't slithered near them, and didn't know a thing about Kurt's visit in their apartment. It touched Sebastian how he was held at nights, Hunter's wish to keep him completely safe strong in the air.

”Let's get the wedding done. I want to call you my husband in front of my relatives and see how jealous my cousins are. It's going to be a honeymoon of all our dreams.”

Sebastian didn't want happenings with Kurt to limit his freedom. He wanted to believe that being carefree was alright, and the threat couldn't concete anymore. Even tone of Kurt's quick short messages became lighter every time.

”So, Smythe. It's completely your fault that my pretty little bird escaped from the cage. In my opinion it would be only right if you lost something too.” Blade meets thin skin on Hunter's neck, making circling movement. Sebastian finds his almost husband's gaze, knowing that he has to be strong now. They are living last moment's of Hunter's life, and even though that idea makes Sebastian shake, at least there is no mess between them. Hunter seems to be thinking about same, because after licking his lips he says it, and it breaks Sebastian's heart that is unable to reply properly.

”Seb, babe. I love you.” Sebastian loves too, hoping that it can be read from his eyes. There are no regrets. Every kiss, every I love you, every soft word revealing his vulnerability around this man. He would do all of it again. With Hunter he had learned to slow down. Sebastian had no hurry to live when there was a gorgeous man in his bed during Sunday mornings. Hunter used lots of time by kissing Sebastian, showing in every touch that he was worth it, that Sebastian didn't need to try to impress every day. He could just be. Hunter wanted him honestly, even on those days when Sebastian sat on a sofa with a runny nose, wrapped in Hunter's favourite hoodie and Minions movie running on the tv-screen. His greeting was a loud sneeze, but that didn't shake Hunter's fond, soft smile.

Blade sinks in Hunter's flesh, and Sebastian's world becomes white. One by one he loses all the senses until he floats in the comforting emptiness of his own mind.

 

 

 

With a comforting, cool hand on his forehead Sebastian returns to the world. It's Jeff touching him, still wearing suit meant for the wedding. Next to him, balancing on a wobbly hospital chair sits Sebastian's twin sister, carefully done curls gone, waves of her dark hair in a ponytail. Stacey's perfect make-up is now smudged, stripes of mascara darkening her soft skin.

”He is dead, isn't he?”

”He is not. Hunter has to forget that marathon plan of his, but he is going to be alright”, Jeff replies with a tired smile and a kiss on Sebastian's cheek.

 


	10. No, I don't care what time it is, I just gotta get a little moonlight kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”He brought me flowers. Full dozen in all possible colours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://brightsummerblues.tumblr.com/post/145261733720/otpprompts-person-a-is-a-zombiedemon-thing
> 
> One of those fics I didn't really mean to write.  
> Title from Scotty McCreery song.

”You can't do this Sebastian”, Jeff's jaw pokes Sebastian's shoulder, and puffs of his breath are ticklish. Protective arms are wrapped around his waist, but this time Sebastian doesn't appreciate that gesture. Jeff is trying to persuade him to leave Hunter, put a bullet between his eyes and go like it wouldn't be a big deal.

Sebastian already had Hunter at gunpoint after he was pushed away from a murderous zombie. Everyone simply froze, only Stacey's lonely shot brought down the zombie which had managed to surprise them in the worst possible way. All three of them were staring at their brave leader, Hunter who had kept them sane and safe after world went down to toilet. Zombie hadn't damaged him badly. There was only single bite mark on his bare arm, but result would have been same if that creature had ripped his head off.

”Pull the fucking trigger, Seb”, Jeff screamed. He was kneeling behind Sebastian, his own gun pointing at Hunter too, wild eyes locked to Stacey Smythe's figure. It would have been sensible, rational thing to do. In that condition, sickness already coloring his skin with grey and green Hunter was only little better than already dead. But even though his eyes reddened and lost their humanity, he didn't try to attack Sebastian like any other freshly infected zombie would have done.

Minutes stretched, and memories were burning, somehow almost embarrassing in Sebastian's mind because so strong emotions were attached to them. When Sebastian blew out the candle, and turned around, he was waiting for rough sex, swollen lips and limping through next day, but Hunter was careful, peppered his chest with small kisses, and listened to him wanting to know what felt really good. Nobody had been that interested in his pleasure before him.

Finally he put the gun down, and took a rope that was hanging on his backpack. Hunter just stood there, allowing Sebastian to restrict his movements by tying his hands behind his back.

”You can't be fucking serious”, Stacey yelped, when she understood that Sebastian had no intentions to end Hunter's dramatically changed life. A gun moved in her restless hands quickly, and if their bond hadn't been so strong, so impossible to break, Stacey could have possibly shot them both, that worried and annoyed she was.

”We passed a cabin. Did you notice that?” Sebastian just answered calmly, starting to walk to the direction where he remembered seeing corner of a small, brown building. With a gentle tug Hunter followed him, still not showing signs of going all zombie crazy.

Since that day they have been living in the cabin. Somebody had clearly had a camp there. Sebastian noticed the supplies, counting how long cans of food could help to keep them alive. There was a well behind the cabin, and small fireplace inside of it. Hunter didn't react to anything. Stacey's yelling, Sebastian's soft words and Jeff's silent, suspicious looks got similar, empty stare.

”He brought me flowers. Full dozen in all possible colours. I hadn't ever gotten flowers from a boy, and before that I didn't know I even wanted it”, Sebastian tells, forehead leaning against comforting coolness of the window. He is so tired of this.

”Then we go. Stacey wants to keep moving, and she wants me with her. I'm so sorry.” Last squeeze, and then they are already going, tall and lanky and small and determined figure walking on a narrow path. Part of Sebastian's heart is taken with them, but bigger part wants to stay there, in a dark small room with a mute man who could have been his husband in a different world.

Blank eyes seem to be little less dull when Sebastian frees Hunter from his chain, giving him an encouraging nod. ”Let's go outside. You have to be so fed up with sitting inside.”

Sebastian drops on the thick grass, leaning against truck of a tree. With no worries in his mind he allows Hunter to wander at the meadow. He has no energy to believe that Hunter, this weird half-zombie could really harm him in any way. 

Small nudge on his elbow distracts Sebastian's reading. He had grabbed last Harry Potter book from some random bookshop about five cities ago, and it's already stained, and dog eared. Hunter has come closer than before. He is kneeling, hand offering him a clumsily tied flower crown. Slowly Sebastian raises his eyes from the crown to Hunter's face. He manages a smile, only a ghost of his usual shy school boy grin.

”You are there babe, aren't you? I'll find a way to get back to you.” Putting silly flower crown on his head earns him another lost smile.

When roaring of the big, black helicopters fills the air, and men in tactical gear gather around the cabin, Sebastian has a silly wish that there would have been more time to prepare. Hunter sits in the corner, hugging his own knees. ”Let's go, babe. I won't allow them to hurt you.”

It's a sweet nothing, and usually Sebastian would avoid making such high-risk promises. If this is going to be the end, at least he would like to give Hunter better than blinding, aggressive lights and threat of the automatic rifles.

Nervous-looking young woman in a white lab coat and narrow eyeglasses seems to be afraid of even Sebastian's attitude. He is on the edge, guarding Hunter like a bloodhound, all the time worried that someone would just come and shoot him. They could even take him away and use him as a test animal, because for these people Sebastian isn't a person who could decide about things.

”I can't guarantee anything. We have only been testing this. It can kill him or heal him completely.”

There is a simple syringe on the open palm of her hand.

Sebastian says goodbye privately. "We had a good run anyway, gorgeous. Thank you for the flower crown." 

Possible medication puts Hunter in a heavy sleep, and then he can only wait. When pointer of the clock passes twelve, Sebastian crawls into the bed, putting his arms around his long time lover. Hunter is still sleeping, and being so near him doesn't feel weird or forced. It's just Hunter who had been seriously hurt. Hours later light touch of the lips in his hair rouses Sebastian. His hand is instinctively looking for the knife before his mind catches the reality. A pair of healthy and bright blue eyes looks at him. Hunter's skin is too pale, almost snow white in the soft light of the room, but at least stains of the sickness are gone. ”Good morning, pretty”, he croaks, nuzzling Sebastian's cheek. 

 


	11. I don't know how long it'll take me but I'll do my best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are not going to brush this off with a few thousand dollars."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://brightsummerblues.tumblr.com/post/134194309800/some-angst-openingslines
> 
> ”I'm sorry! I'm sorry for whatever I did just please stop yelling!
> 
> I feel like I need to listen to Blake Shelton's Honey Bee about 150 times.

”I'm sorry! I'm sorry for whatever I did just please stop yelling!

He doesn't see it before that, but then Sebastian almost bumps into him, tears making his eyelashes wet, voice breaking from exhaustion. Hunter grabs his forearm, trying to keep his lover standing, but touching him makes raw fear appear in the green of his yes. Colour is much duller than usually. Then Hunter sees himself through Sebastian's eyes, his fingers clutching edge of the kitchen counter, usually sensual lips pressed together tightly, and coldness in his eyes.

 It's not really surprising that Sebastian eyes his hands nervously, muscles tense when he tries to be prepared for fleeing from him and locking himself behind bathroom door. Hunter would rather cut his fingers off than lay even a finger on Sebastian, but when he doesn't remember last time when they would have had a proper Friday date or done something else than argued, yelled or exchanged dark, insulted looks, only surprising thing is that Sebastian's trust in his good intentions hadn't started to shake weeks ago.

”Seb, baby... I wouldn't...” Hunter glances briefly at the pile of forgotten newspapers, reason of the latest conflict, feeling like a little brat when his gaze moves to the kitchen table. Sebastian had prepared a dinner, folded red napkins neatly and even used their silverware. They could have lighted a few candles, likely those sweet-smelling vanilla ones and just enjoy each other's company, but it's not possible to cancel last ten minutes and reconsider his harsh words.

”Are you really sure about that?” Sebastian wants to know, his voice raspy. Hunter yelps with surprise when his lover pulls him closer by lapels of his coat which he hadn't had time to take off before making a pile of paper, and outdated news bigger priority than this man who has stood by him through everything. He doesn't remember much about those days when he was trying to leave needles behind. Voice in his ear was only real thing. Sebastian repeated same words over and over again: _we are getting through this_ , he promised, bony shapes of his fingers holding Hunter's hands.

Sebastian's kiss is desperate and so hungry when he uses his teeth to cause Hunter pain.

 Licking his lips, taste of copper making his sight sharper Hunter follows his lover to the living room sheepishly. At least his coat is dropped on the back of the sofa. Sebastian himself places his butt in the arm chair, shooting Hunter a heavy look full of emotions.

”I'm not your goddamn maid, Clarington. We both know that I don't meet standards, but today I spent my morning writing and met two deadlines in time. I washed clothes and made a dinner. I genuinely thought I wasn't doing that badly, but then you opened that door and instead of a kiss and story about your day, I got yelling straight to my face.”

 Hunter opens his mouth, hoping to make it better with genuine promises. He is thinking about new watch – Sebastian has a soft spot for shiny things, or that romantic tiny bed & breakfast they visited in England last summer, but he is denied a change to try to use words as a sticking plaster for their relationship.

Just shut up. You are not going to brush this off with a few thousand dollars. I don't want your expensive shit or your money. I have enough money myself. I want my boyfriend back. I know it's stressful at work, but any of that isn't worth ruining our relationship. You need to cut your hours at work and realize that I can't live in this compromise alone. You don't yell at me because of forgotten dishes or those fucking newspapers. I won't tolerate it anymore.”

On a Friday a few weeks later Sebastian opens the door to their dark apartment. He calls Hunter's name, wondering if he had decided to treat himself and gone out to get ice cream or pizza. Only reply he gets is a quiet meow.

His long time lover is sitting on their living room carpet, attractive and squeaky-clean in his white sweatpants and tank top, beautiful cat with a thick fur resting in his lap. Two pairs of blue eyes look at Sebastian like they both would have been waiting for him. ”Is she or maybe he ours?” Sebastian asks quietly, not sure what he thinks about such a hairy creature sharing his living space.

Hunter laughs, his voice soft murmur. ”I borrowed him. Gonna take him back on Monday. He is really cuddly”, he tells, raising big cat like a baby to show him to Sebastian. It's not before he is holding the cat, wondering warm weight and its quiet sounds when he notices reddish blanket fort. It has been built on their sofa and arm chairs, and Hunter has borrowed a couple of chairs from kitchen to make it larger.

It's like a warm hug from the past. Blanket fort in their small dorm room, and his long gone best friend laughing against the nape of his neck. They had spent numerous Friday nights like that. Whenever Sebastian was feeling melancholic, didn't have energy for blinding lights and groping hands, his friend never let him down. There was always a laptop for Netflix and a warm body for cuddling. 

Hunter who is watching him with honest, excited eyes doesn't know about that. He has no idea that it hurts a little, when Sebastian crawls into blanket fort, finding some pillows, a laptop, and a tray full of his favourite snacks. Tiny nip on his earlobe causes a sensation he hasn't felt for a long time. ”You said that you don't want luxuries to show my dedication for you, so I decided to try something else. One guy at work told that his girlfriend loves this.”

It's exciting, Sebastian decides. Laying in the blanket fort with Hunter and Blue Moon reminds him of the beginning of their relationship. Hunter who had been so socially smooth was surprisingly clumsy when he had that demanding, energetic boy in his hands. On Monday morning Sebastian found a chocolate bar on his desk. On Friday, after long and hard practice a cool smoothie was brought to him on the track. Usually Sebastian would have demanded more, but nowadays he thanks himself for finding patience to wait through that time when Hunter was still getting used to them.

Three episodes later they stumble to the bedroom, managing to make one of their paintings fall from the wall. Sebastian giggles, his words about unbelievably ugly picture bringing a frown on Hunter's forehead. It softens quickly when familiar hand slaps his ass before door to pitch black room is opened. Surprised Blue Moon stares at the wood with wide eyes before he returns to the living room, hiding in the blanket fort.

Sex is pretty easy between them. Maybe almost too easy, because more than once Hunter has trusted that pushing Sebastian against kitchen counter, and getting on his knees in front of his lover would delay discussion about issues in their relationship. It's Sebastian who speaks about whole topic more easily. Once he chose to tell about his wish to visit new sex shop in the town at the breakfast table, right after Hunter had taken a sip of his coffee. After coughing that left his voice hoarse Hunter told that he definitely wouldn't be seen in any tacky shop. ”If you need some kinky toys, you can order them online and I'll pay.” It likely was what Sebastian had really wanted.

Hunter doesn't have issues with the idea to allow Sebastian fuck him. He spreads his legs regularly, enjoying that fascinating sting of pain which turns into blunt pleasure. There is nothing elegant in it, but still it feels precious, like something he has to protect from outside world.

But usually he doesn't give everything of himself. Hunter is often biting his lip, keeping his moans in his mouth instead of letting them escape, and wondering how his face exactly looks when pleasure makes him lose control.

Sebastian's eyes look black, and he is full of arousal, like a tense power line between palms of Hunter's hands. Vulnerability tastes like fear in his mouth but still Hunter forces himself to let go and keep his mind empty. It's not bad or scary, not when Sebastian's wet mouth kisses his chest and those soft words lay in the air. _I love you. You are beautiful._ With Sebastian he can believe that kind of thing. Afterwards, when his skin is still burning pleasantly Sebastian snuggles against him, burying his face in Hunter's neck. He feels lips there where probably is a purple mark.

”I didn't remember to tell earlier, but I'll start doing shorter days next week. It gives us about eight more hours together every week.” Sebastian doesn't react, he just makes a noise in his sleep, pushing closer to Hunter, wanting to steal all his body heat.


	12. You've been beautiful a million times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian loves airports.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS. One of my less sunny texts. Warning for a generally abusive relationship/sexual abuse/rape. This doesn't happen between Hunter/Sebastian.  
> Don't be surprised if the name changes. Usually all my fics find their names very easily, but I just couldn't choose a suitable one for this. Borrowed that line from a Jason Aldean song.

Sebastian loves airports. After high school, when it feels like there would be a bloody hole on the place of his heart, he messages Stacey who is immediately following his plan, eager fingers already on a keyboard, looking for plane tickets. At any airport Sebastian feels most alive, he likes all of it, weight of big emotions in the air, and feeling buzz of different languages around him. Once they were stuck at the airport in a blizzard, sleeping in turns on a spread blanket, Stacey's handbag as a pillow. They could have taken a cab to the city and spend the night in proper beds, but it was fascinating to stay there and buy overpriced sandwiches and almost tasteless coffee.

Of all possible places they meet again at the airport. Hunter raises his beer mug on his lips. Bright light hurts his tired eyes, and beverage leaves a stale taste in his mouth, but it had been kinda wonderful to go to the counter and just order one without Melanie breathing against his neck. Hunter puts his hands around cold mug, smiling at the mental images of his now ex-girlfriend who is probably building a bonfire of Hunter's things.

When he was leaving, pulling hidden luggage from the closet, Hunter had hit his toes to the leg of their bed. Water in his eyes he stared at Melanie who slept with her mouth open, messy dark curls almost reaching her waist. He was absolutely, one hundred percent sure that movement in the air and scared hiss from his lips would awaken Melanie, who would corner him against bedroom wall with lioness' hunger, and tell him to give his wallet and phone like a good boy he surely was behind this ridiculous play of disobedience.

It never happened. He didn't need to surrender for hands on his waist, and that falsely sweet telling him that Hunter needed to be reminded who was in control in their relationship. It has been years since hist last completely healthy sexual experience. Sebastian Smythe loved sex, but he never thought it was Hunter's duty to give him anything in bed.

With Sebastian no was no. He didn't ask explanations, just gave comforting touch of his lips against Hunter's cheek or forehead, and asked if he wanted to watch a movie. Sometimes he disappared to the bathroom with an uncomfortable face and too tight pants, and returned with damp body and scent of soap on his skin, but it wasn't anything special for Sebastian. He just stole one of Hunter's hoodies, knowing how irresistible he was like that, usually carefully styled hair sticking to every compass point, blinking his eyes which were bit red from shampoo. Sebastian only demanded cuddles.

Melanie wasn't into cuddles or playful kisses. She drank absolute control in and out of bedroom, teaching him in a very short time that it didn't matter what Hunter wanted, and if Melanie wanted him to do things straight from his most humiliating nightmares, Hunter's opinion was especially irrelevant. He learned to hide marks in the dressing room of his favourite gym, and bite his palm when he came home from work, and one of Melanie's toys was waiting innocently on the bed, telling exactly what kind of humiliation he could expect that day.

”No, no no. You don't go to talk to him”, Stacey hisses like an angry cat, both hands squeezing Sebastian's own. She tries to use her own weight to pull her brother back, because she can't believe that they are about to bump into that asshole. She had been there last time, when Hunter fucking Clarington almost ruined everything. In a room of first hotel which they had seen in that foreign country she watched as Sebastian poured alcohol down his throat, and threatened to lock him on the balcony when drunk and lonely was planning to leave on the streets of dark city. ”You won't offer yourself to first willing man. I don't want to be called to identify your molested body."

Sebastian shakes her off, leaving a cursing tiny brunette behind him. Hunter doesn't notice him at first, he is sitting on a high stool, legs wrapped around metal. When Sebastian approaches, not even knowing what he is going or what he should say, after all this is the guy who broke his heart when he told with firm words that they couldn't be together, Hunter turns to his direction, letting one lonely word drop from his lips.

”Bastian”, he says, like he would have been just waiting for Sebastian's arrival, and that's enough. He is again that eighteen year old who secrectly believed that Hunter didn't really want to leave him, and they were just victims of circumstances.

With his arms wrapped around his own knees – he is dressed for a long flight in soft sweatpants and a hoodie – Sebastian's eyes follow his boyfriend who walks back and forth following wide glass wall. Occasionally he stops, face hidden from Sebastian and hands on his waist, watching airplanes which are like huge, clumsy birds. It's still early, they had woken up in dark bedroom, fingers brushing each other's arms when they made coffee and checked last important papers.

They haven't made long-time definitions, not when when everything is still so new. There has been coffee kisses – Hunter kisses exactly same way like six years ago, determined but gentle, holding Sebastian in his grip, but all the time ready to let him go if he wants that. Sebastian would have never used word timid of old Hunter, but that's exactly what he is nowadays, timid, polite and thoughtful, charming a worker at the grocery store with his boyish smile, and surprising Sebastian with flowers and fresh mint chocolate chip ice cream when he returns from work, headache making his whole body sensitive.

Sebastian has blabbed about past years, he had been mostly single with one past fuck buddy. Hunter himself got weirdly tense, mentioning only a name. ”I left her. I'm pretty sure he has already burned all my stuff”, he told, making pearls of laughter fall from Sebastian's lips. He loves Sebastian's laugh, couldn't ever get tired of it.

”We should go, babe.” Sebastian takes his attention, grabbing both of their bags, and leaving his almost empty coffee cup behind. He doesn't notice it at first. Hunter stays close to him, walking almost at his heels, and even though it's little bit annoying, Sebastian doesn't think there is something behind it.

”Are you afraid of flying?” he asks minutes later, unsure because that idea hadn't even crossed his mind. But there Hunter is, leaning against the back of is seat, eyes closed. Surprise opens his blue eyes, and Hunter flinches at the fingertips touching his forehead. His skin is clammy, layer of panic covering his body everywhere.

”Try to relax. After getting out of the airport we'll go straight to the hotel. Luxurious hotel where they have that huge bed. I want to taste you”, Sebastian tells bluntly in his ear, keeping his voice low. ”Get you naked on the bed, and have my way with you. I'm wondering if you still make similar sounds when you get a talented mouth around your cock.”

He knows Sebastian means only well and hopes that Hunter could find find encouragement from his low, purring voice, but a blowjob is almost last thing Hunter cares about right now. Squeezing his armrest Hunter uses his imagination. He is aware that with Sebastian it could be again light and fun, there would be words, questions and actual discussions. But his memories of Melanie snickering at his flying phobia are way stronger. Afterwards he was always pushed to the hotel bed, and to the woman straddling him it was amusing that Hunter, who had been swimming in his own cold sweat since they had left their apartment stayed completely soft underneath her.

”I don't want to have sex with you.”

Sebastian's voice is flat and neutral, spark of humor in his eyes when his reply is given.”Okay sweetheart, tell more about your sexual preferences to this whole plane. I think those two sweet ladies at the front row didn't hear your first comment.” He touches Hunter's sticky fingers, and leans closer, face getting much more serious.

”What that witch did to you?”

Red nails scratch his back. Hunter staggers to bedroom smelling like sex and falls on his knees before toilet seat. Next morning he uses make-up to cover a fresh bruise on his cheekbone. One of the guys at work asks how his girlfriend is doing, and Hunter's laugh is a horrible tight sound that barely escapes his throat.

”I just don't... I don't know if I can. At all. I'm sorry”, he weeps, because apologizing for his existence is something he had been taught to do.

Sebastian's jaw is a tight line when he presses his teeth together, imagining that faceless woman who had turned an uptight but also confident boy into this man who thinks he can't really create more than mistakes. He wouldn't like to touch darker images in his head, but they feel very possible when he sees Hunter's upset eyes.

”It's over now”, he promises, knowing that naive words can't really heal his wounds.


	13. Like a shooting star across the sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In some other life we took cheesy pictures wading in mapple leaves, and ate Stacey's pumpkin pie in bed next morning.

It's a simple meal for their anniversary, just sandwiches wrapped in plastic, a box of strawberries and a coconut banana smoothie, Sebastian's favourite. Hunter puts the food into a cool bag and glances at Artemis, and old white Persian cat which is looking at him soulful green eyes. Artemis was brought home when they moved in together after high school. Energetic kitten has been gone for a long time, but Artemis seems to be doing well, and would probably live like a king in this big house for some more good years.

”Why not?” he speaks to the animal, picking him up. ”Who says that you couldn't come with me?” Artemis meows with approval, staying helpfully motionless in his arms when Hunter leaves the house and follows the garden path to his car. It's electric blue, metal almost burning under the palm of his hand. Hunter changes vehicles every year, just walks to the store and chooses one of the shiny, expensive and fast options. His car dealer seems to be on the verge of an orgams when Hunter arrives, but sliding in the front seat and letting the growling engine wake up doesn't make him feel any less hollow.

It's a beautiful scenery, peaceful waves of the sea kissing the beach with white sand. There are some paw prints in the sand, but no other people in sight. Hunter spreads plaid blanket on grass, and speaks to the cat that moves in the carrier restlessly. ”Calm down. This is an important meeting. Many cats aren't allowed to attend a fancy anniversary date like this.” Putting Artemis into a harness gives him a change to explore, wonder a passing butterfly and climb on the small pile of smooth rocks.

”Happy anniversary, babe. I know I haven't done everything you wanted, but it's not so easy without you.”

_Sebastian still looks cozy in his black parka even though his skin is greyish and just barely bearable pain makes his hands shake in thick gloves. After a long roadtrip from coast to coast, making love in the blue sheets of the beach hotel, glasses of iced tea, last confessions, and maybe most precious and terrifyind of them all – a permission to read Sebastian's journals after he is gone, finish line is in sight._

_On this day Sebastian is carrying his engagement ring on a thin silver chain around his neck. Hunter had offered to marry him in a small ceremony for a few closest friends, but green-eyed man had just shaken his head with a graceful movement. ”If I don't get my golden and orange autumn wedding, I don't want to do it in a hurry. I got to call you my fiancé and see you getting on your knee in front of me. In this life it has to be enough. In some other life we took cheesy pictures wading in mapple leaves, and ate Stacey's pumpkin pie in bed next morning. Don't be sad about that. I'm sure it was lovely and we had lots of wonderful sex at our wedding night.”_

_Hunter smells mint of toothpaste in Sebastian's breath, and pulls him closer, reminding himself that they should go back to the car soon. Sebastian has to get on his back, medication couldn't keep his up much longer. He doesn't even know why they are standing here, on this deserted beach where fine sand is fixed with crystals of snow, and a few trees are fighting against winter wind._

_”I want my ashes scattered here. I chose this place when I was still able to drive”, Sebastian tells, green eyes looking at the horizon, glued on some invisible point Hunter can't find. He has been behaving like this for weeks, like Sebastian would already have one leg on the other side of the borderline. But even though a feeling of basketball in his throat prevents Hunter from eating proper meal these days, he is so thankful that Sebastian is standing there, mostly rational except on those moments when he lays in bed, drowning in pain and cursing whole world. Many couples in a similar situation would kill for a change to have such long goodbyes._

_”I promise, babe”, he tells, lips touching Sebastian's cheek. Hunter stays still when weak arms are wrapped around him. Sebastian doesn't know how to smile with his shaking lips, but his eyes are almost burning. ”Your future will be financially secured. I have taken care of that”, he tells, pressing a light kiss on his forehead._

It has been three years. Many teenagers and a few older boys would kill their moms for his car, and his house is more like a manor than an actual home. With all those zeros on his bank account whole world could be dropped into his arms. But if it was possible, Hunter would change all that to his illness-free almost-husband, who was so hungry for life but didn't get more than 26 birthdays, last one of them in the hospital. Most foods made Sebasian grimace, but raspberry popsicles he devoured, pressing sticky kisses on Hunter's lips between them.

Hunter doesn't have a life. Not really. He can't be found under metallic lights of a night club, flirting with cute guys who would do anything to get him even for one night. Instead of travelling the world like Sebastian hoped – he wouldn't have gone to Paris, because Paris was pink bubbles in the bathroom, picnics in their favourite park, and Sebastian sitting at the balcony at three am, too fascinated with his favourite city in the world to sleep – Hunter ran away from people who tried to help him, and bought a house in the new city, close enough to the beach.

Once an attractive guy hit on him at the grocery store, when Hunter was trying to fit a carton of eggs, two breads and a box of cereal in his arms. He dropped one of the breads, and there he was, fluffy blond hair and wide green eyes, offering that bread to Hunter, light blush colouring his soft cheeks.

He probably stayed in that guy's mind as a hopeless homophobic. It was only six months after Sebastian's funeral. Hunter had barely taken his engagement ring off, and when the wound was still stinging in his mind, it was mostly terrifying to feel innocently flattered when an attractive person considered Hunter worth his attention. He wasn't ready in any way.

”Excuse me”, a soft and high male voice calls. Hunter hasn't ever heard such a melodic voice, and turns around, his throat feeling suddenly narrow. Curiosity is electricity on his fingertips, because nowadays positive surprises of life are rare. Hunter is numb for world, doesn't answer if girl scouts come to the gates of the manor with cookies, but makes a large donation to local animal shelter every six months.

He is attractive, lean and tall in jeans and a t-shirt, but even though his outfit is simple, Hunter's experienced eye sees that he is dressed in lots of money. Stranger has interesting eyes, in the sunshine they seem to be soft grey, but turning his back to sun brings out all the blue shades in his gaze.

”You didn't happen to see a tortoise?” he asks, a sheepish smile spreading on his face, a thumb pushed in one of his belt loops. He poses easily, not really realizing that he is putting his best sides on display for Hunter.

”A tortoise? No I didn't”, he replies, trying to remember how to smile to a possibly interesting man who doesn't need to flirt with panic if he happens to hear exact song at the local mall. Hunter feels ancient, too old to be attracted to this man who can't be more than two years behind him. With his good pure energy this stranger looks like a person who likes both, candles, pancakes, and movies under blanket, and sweaty, tense nights spent dancing in the mass of people.

”Damn Weasley. Where are you?” Other guy mumbles to himself, walking closer to Hunter with an adorable pout on his face. Hunter sees blond highlights in his soft-looking hair and would like to bury his fingers in it. ”You have a tortoise called Weasley?” he asks, letting his grin show on his face.

”Says a guy who is apparently having a picnic with his cat. What is going on?” Stranger replies, sitting cross-legged on Hunter's blanket, and letting Artemis climb on his thigh. Hunter isn't going to complain if he really wants to get soft denim of his pants covered with white cat hair.

Hunter passes the question for now. He could possibly know later, but not yet. Wiping his hands to a tissue Hunter makes his own suggestion. "Let me pack this stuff, and I'll help you to find Weasley the tortoise?"

Hopefully they would find Weasley. Perhaps Hunter could ask him to a coffee afterwards. Maybe he would find a way to make this guy laugh, and could ask his phone number after gathering his courage.

"Why not", he smiles, offering his hand to Hunter. "The name is Kurt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write something brighter, but I had the best inspiration for this one. 
> 
> http://otp--prompts.tumblr.com/post/125714691106/person-a-makes-an-elaborate-anniverary-dinner-for
> 
> Title from a Jason Aldean song.


	14. A day can feel like forever, baby when you're not around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Merry Christmas, firecracker", he laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't write a cute and fluffy Christmas fic even if I was held at gunpoint. 
> 
> As an actual ship I can't stand Kurtbastian, but supportive besties is becoming my favourite thing. 
> 
> Title is from a Jason Aldean-song.

Sebastian is a stress baker, has always been. Today he had woken up at six am, lively like a little bird and started after a quick, cold shower. Now, hours later he sits in the living room, batches of cookies and pastries organized in the freezer and refrigerator. Taking a sip of his glass of red wine Sebastian raises his feet on the foot stool, and whistles quietly at the collie who is laying on the thick dark red carpet. Goldie twitches her ears and gives him a short look deciding that Sebastian isn't as interesting as a big bone between her front paws. ”Good girl”, he mumbles, trying to soothe his cantering heart.

 Ring of the bell from the front door gives him something else to think about. With a hoodie warming his shoulders Sebastian goes, curious collie following right at his heels. It's Hunter, scratching the back of his neck, looking frozen in his too thin clothes.

”Oh baby”, Sebastian sighs, stepping aside. ”Why didn't you call me? I could have picked you up.” Hunter doesn't walk inside to the comforting, sweet-smelling warmth of their spacious house. He runs a hand through short sandy brown hair, eyes glued to a spot somewhere around Sebastian's collarbone.

”I wasn't sure if you wanted me here”, Hunter mutters, leaning closer to him. Sebastian swallows, staring at the collar of Hunter's blue shirt. He had worn that same shirt on their last private moment eighteen months ago, and now Sebastian just wants to wrap him in scents and new clothes, make him smell like home instead of stuffy institute.

His comment isn't as far from the truth as one could imagine. Leaning his forehead against Hunter's Sebastian thinks about those first weeks, people pushing him to get the papers for divorce. Two days after watching how Hunter was taken away in handcuffs, Sebastian would have needed emotional support, a shoulder to lean on, but instead of that he received comments trying to control his life.

”Honey, you can't continue your relationship with him”, Caroline Smythe told, hands on Sebastian's shoulders, her perfume suffocating him.

”It's not first time when he fucked up”, Jeff commented from the corner of the room where he was standing.

”Sebby, this was too much”, Stacey sighed from behind a curtain of black hair, concentrating more on filing her nails than their discussion.

”What's going on here?” asked the first voice which wasn't immediately judging his life choices. Kurt Hummel strode through the door confidently, looking at other people in the room with cold bluish eyes. ”I came as soon as it was possible. I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you earlier.” When he was speaking, Kurt positioned himself between Sebastian and other people in the room, showing with a hand around his shoulder whose side he was taking.

”Bas and I are going to grab a coffee. Then he is going to decide what he will do with this situation. It's his decision, not yours Jeff. Not yours, Stacey and definitely not yours, mrs Smythe.”

In a tiny coffee shop full of shadows, dust dancing on the tables Kurt looked at him over his own cup. He was wise enough to be stay quiet. ”What should I do?” Sebastian asked with shaking lips, knowing that he wouldn't get an easy answer but needing to hear it.

They had been friends since Sebastian saved him from being proposed to, and let him get drunk in the house of his parents. Next morning they cuddled among fluffy pillows watching Mona Lisa Smile. ”It's not my solution to make, but I'm going to support you through this. It doesn't matter what you decide.”

Fighting against the world with Hunter wasn't anything new to Sebastian, but it made everything easier when there was at least one more person in his corner. Kurt stayed as long as he could without missing too much work. He gave Sebastian a hug whenever he needed it, and glared at his supposed biggest supporters until they understood that biting comments weren't exactly helpful.

”I'm still your legal husband. I have carried my wedding ring for last months. I just hope it tells enough. I was insulted, hurt and angry, so fucking angry, but any of those emotions didn't stop me from loving you.”

Hunter nods softly, still looking less angled than that person who filled this big, almost mansion-like house easily with his personality and voice. Rubbing his own arms he walks past Sebastian, stopping in the hall where he had organized two Christmas trees. After missing last holidays with his lover Sebastian had gone big on decorations, spread fake snow in the hall and used delicate thin paper to make snow flakes on the windows. Without worries Sebastian filled his basket with tinsels and other ornaments in the store, and created this happy mess of colours in their home.

”I know it's kinda... Bright. I just wanted you to have a proper Christmas here.”

Hunter turns to watch him over his shoulder. ”This is fine, Seb. More than fine.”

With heavy feet he takes the stairs, stopping to look at the photographs or run his fingers on the beige wall. ”I think I'm going to take a shower.”

”Do you want me to join you?” Sebastian asks in the bedroom, his voice barely leaving his mouth. Hunter freezes in front of the cabin, a pair of pajama bottoms in his hand. ”If you want to do that.” That's his reply, and Sebastian just knows that during upcoming weeks they would probably circle each other like this for some more time.

With those black tiles bathroom connected to their bedroom should look uninviting and even a little scary, but Sebastian has always loved the contrast between black wall and Hunter's skin. He closes his eyes for a moment, smelling fresh shampoo, overwhelmed with his emotions. Heavy hands land on his bare shoulders, and Sebastian meets that blue gaze, noticing how a knot in his stomach loosens a bit.

”Did they hurt you? I don't even fucking know, maybe I have watched too many movies”, he asks desperately, letting out a little, maniac laugh. Sebastian doesn't really know how it had been. He saved himself by not asking questions, focusing on the home where Hunter could return.

Hand cups his face and other one finds short hair on the nape of his neck. Hunter gives him a lovely, soft kiss. ”That didn't happen.”

”I guess then I can do this.” Sebastian pecks his lips lightly. Kissing his way along Hunter's body he lowers himself on his knees. It doesn't take long, but for those moments tight heat of Sebastian's wet mouth is sweet and wonderful to Hunter who comes in his mouth with a tiny, desperate moan.

His lover pulls Sebastian up, giving him a kiss on the lips. ”I'm sorry”, he mumbles, roses of embarrassment on his face, but Sebastian just shakes his head. ”Don't be.”

A set of keys and a few envelopes wait for them on the living room table. Hunter picks them up with curiosity, ruffling his still wet hair. Sebastian counts wet dots on the shoulders of a white t-shirt and feels tense. He has thought about this thoroughly.

”What are these?”

Licking lips lips Sebastian replies. ”Your new gym membership. Keys to your new car, and some things you are going to need at work next week.”

Confusion makes Hunter turn on his heel. ”What job?”

”Well. They weren't really eager to take you back at your old place. You are coming to the office with me.” He doesn't have motivation for a scene right now, but if Hunter decided to start one Sebastian couldn't just back off.

”Seb”, he just mutters softly. ”I don't know a damn thing about fashion.”

”Yeah, I'm well aware that your choices in clothes would be questionable if you didn't have this awesome personal stylist, but I need new assistant after I found previous guy snooping in a place where he shouldn't have been.”

Sebastian turns his lover around, hugging him from behind tightly. ”You are free to go if you find another position, but I only want good things to you. I don't mean this as a punishment.”

”I love you”, Hunter mumbles, his voice weirdly heavy.

Sight waking Sebastian up next morning could be straight from his favourite fantasies. Hunter is wearing a pair of tight boxer briefs. He had also gone to Sebastian's Christmas decoration box. Seeing a red ribbon following movements of his hips and a blue tinsel wrapped around his broad shoulders makes Sebastian's mouth very very dry.

”It should be illegal to be that hot”, he mumbles to himself before fighting his control back. This can't happen. Sebastian would take what he is given, would accept Hunter in any way he wants to be taken, but sex can't be used this way. Not in their relationship.

”Come here, babe.” Thick mattress sinks a bit under Hunter's weight. Sebastian takes his time, leaning in other man's personal space to smell soap on his still warm skin. Kiss on the jawline brings a delicious shiver through Hunter's body. Playing with the tinsel Sebastian thinks about his words.

”Nothing is more important for me than you finally being safely here, where nobody can hurt you. There is no need to earn your place in this house or in my life.”

Sebastian knows Hunter and that phase in his life when perfection wasn't enough. Eight years ago he caressed old scars gently, wondering what the hell he could do if it got really bad again. He learned to recognize signs, and hid the razors in his desk drawer. Sometimes Hunter was just laying on the bed with his head in Sebastian's lap. Fingers running on his shoulders Sebastian hummed, realizing that Hunter didn't want him to ask. Anything. Sebastian was the only person who didn't demand him to push to his limits and past them.

”I was serious when I said that one more fuck-up would be the end of our relationship. But minor fuck-ups are fine. I have missed our yelling matches. There is no other person who can reply with your fire.”

Hunter chuckles at that. ”Merry Christmas firecracker”, he laughs, lips touching Sebastian's hair.


	15. And in my thirsty eyes you look like rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's probably only a hallucination...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Borrowed the title from Luke Bryan song.

His physique, no matter how good it is, can't take it for long when he is denied food and proper rest. World around him is built of pain and embarrassment when a middle-aged man yells straight to his face telling what kind of shame he is to his family and father.

On that day he is fighting his way through mud and violent rain, trying not to notice hammering of his heart. Pounding in his chest makes Hunter frantic and nervous but he should do just a little bit more. Maybe after that he would be left to lick wounds of his pride alone. There would be a few moments to just sit on his tiny, lumpy bed, sneak a cup of hot chocolate from the kitchen, and pull out a book and Sebastian's photograph which he had hidden under one of the floor boards.

It's probably only a hallucination – he is finally losing his mind like his father likely hopes – when a familiar, lanky, long-limbed figure grabs his forearm. It doesn't help, Sebastian Smythe has a too loose grip of him, and Hunter falls to his knees, too tired to care when icy water kisses his skin through the fabric of his pants.

He is taken away. With rain water blurring his sight Hunter is walked to the parking lot, one of Sebastian's arms around his waist. Lips press a light kiss on his temple, and hearing Sebastian's colourful swearing in French brings a tired, small smile on his lips. Meanings of those words are lost to him, but Hunter can recognize them from other situations.

On the wide backseat of Sebastian's white SUV he peels off layers of dirty and wet clothes, accepting a pair of sweats and a t-shirt from Sebastian. In the old life at least Sebastian's shirts would have been way too small to him, but now the shirt is comfortably loose. Green eyes glance at the bruised torso of his in a way Hunter can't interpret before that sight is covered.

Shrugging off his jacket Sebastian offers also it to other boy. ”You don't have to strip all your clothes for me”, Hunter tries to joke weakly, remembering those nights when Sebastian had his hand between his legs and curious lips on the skin of his neck. Being close other person, sleeping in same bed or taking a shower together was scarily intimate and positively overwhelming.

Being with someone like Sebastian who faced the world with bravery and demanded it to make room for him changed everything. They were walking through the mall. Hunter gave a quick glance to Sebastian before moving his hand closer to other boy's own. First only their pinkies touched, and Hunter's heart had probably jumped somewhere in his throat when he entangled their fingers together.

Sebastian had propped himself up on his shoulders, body lean and natural in the reddish light of the bedside table. Hunter had never been less than excellent in anything he had tried before so concept of giving a blowjob was terrifying and exciting. It had to be sloppiest blowjob of Sebastian's life. Hunter felt embarrassed with himself, there was just so much saliva and too little skill. At one point Sebastian used his hand to push him away. ”No teeth, babe”, he guided gently, running his fingers through Hunter's hair.

Hunter returned his attention to Sebastian's dick, cherishing his little moans, and hoping bit desperately that his mouth would be even enough to get his lover off. Afterwards dark-haired boy was blissed out, pulling Hunter down for a clumsy kiss. Tasting himself on his lover's lips didn't seem to bother Sebastian who couldn't combine terms sex and confusion.

”Which one of us needs it more right now?” he just asks, waiting patiently when Hunter climbs on the front seat. In any other situation he fould feel being without socks, shoes or even underwear threatening, but this is only his Bastian, the only person who has the ability to make Hunter feel even half-relaxed.

”Who was that crazy person?” He has to be held responsible too. What I saw there.. Nobody should be treated like that. They were fucking laughing at you. I thought you were a lost case there, and they just laughed.”

”He is an old friend of the family. Has made also other guys ”real” men again. My father thought it would be good for me to spend some time with him.”

After three hours drive dead-tired Hunter is half-carried to the manor. A beautiful woman in her forties is waiting at the doorway, wrapped in a dark blue night gown. She has Sebastian's long-limbed body and thick dark hair of the family. Only widening of the dark eyes reveals how much seeing Hunter in that condition upsets her.

”I already called Michael, sweetie. He is coming in the morning. You did the right thing.”

There is a small bedroom with heavy red curtains and comfortable wooden furniture waiting for him. Hunter notices a small bookcase at the head of the bed and a blue-striped rug on the floor. He is used to connect the Smythes with luxuries of life so this doesn't seem like a part of the house that belongs to them.

”The guest room downstairs is fancier, but I thought you might prefer this.” Sitting on the bed tells that Sebastian had been on the right track with that. From that small bed Hunter can easily see every corner of the room, and it eases the anxiety trying to fill his whole mind.

Only a few hours ago he would have been afraid of nudity, would have rather chopped his fingers off than let other person see him so bare and vulnerable, but with Sebastian Hunter only closes his eyes when the last piece of fabric is folded on the stool.

There is no pity in his green eyes when Hunter dares to look in them, and that's why he appreciates Sebastian. ”Go take a shower. I'll try to find underwear. I think I might have left some here during my last visit.”

In that house his time in the shower isn't limited. Hunter spreads shampoo on his hair, and avoids looking at the mirror. His skinny body is covered with bruises, some of them fading and healing, others fresher and more painful.

Clumsily Sebastian tucks him in, pulling a blanket to his chin. ”It was Jeff's stupid idea to surprise you with a freaking picnic basket. I never expected to find you on your to your grave. You won't go back. If they imagine that happening, they are going to have awesome time trying to drag me away from you. I scream like a bitch if I need to.”

Hunter chuckles quietly, smiling at the lips on his forehead. ”Sleep tight”, Sebastian whispers softly. ”I'm in the next room if you need anything. An orgasm, a midnight snack, cuddles. Anything to you, babe.”

Later there are nightmares and yelling. Sebastian doesn't get angry when he seeks wrong kind of relief in the night of the city, but just walks him straight to the cab and back to their apartment. Cool night air makes Hunter shiver in this thin t-shirt. ”I'm not going to say some bullshit like I would know how it is. But I know some things about numbing your feelings with alcohol. Not on my watch, Clarington.”

It's pretty nice to lay on the bed while Sebastian sits next to him, reading Agatha Christie aloud. Hunter takes a job at a coffee shop, and almost asks what's wrong with them, when his co-workers only smile absently at Sebastian who comes to visit him, and reaches over the counter to press a kiss on his lips. They don't yell or use disrespectful names, but keep going with their tasks.

Hunter leaves his hand on the side of Sebastian's neck, asking quietly if he'd like sit down for Hunter's break and have coffee and muffins. Sebastian is all layers of clothes, thick text books, and Stabilo pencils disappearing in the depths of his messenger bag. Secretly Hunter thinks he has never seen sexier nerd.

”How long have you been together?” one of the girls, Anna just asks with a smile.

Two years later Sebastian couldn't be prouder to show off his engagement ring, cheap silver band on his ring finger. Stacey Smythe almost gets her head bitten off when she makes a biting comment. 


	16. There's always something going down, in this nothing town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://stephenking.wikia.com/wiki/Rainy_Season 
> 
> This was in my thoughts when I wrote this, so original idea is not mine.  
> Borrowed title from a Jason Aldean-song.

It' such a cozy and gorgeous small town with friendly, social people and comfortable activities, surrounded by mountains which look threatening and safe in Sebastian's eyes. He never considered himself a small town type, but three years ago they had arrived, Sebastian's white knuckles bloody on the steering wheel, and Hunter sitting on the passenger's seat, looking flat and lifeless, blades in his blue eyes. Wordlessly they fell to the bed of the only motel of the town, Sebastian ending up on the top of his boyfriend. With patient, deep kisses his boyfriend was encouraged to open up. ”I'm not going to hurt you”, Sebastian made a promise against his lips, probably first real one in his young life.

Two days later they started to hunt for houses. Now they live on a respectable street in a respectable town. Hunter works as a deputy and single ladies of the town know not to flirt him too much. Sebastian visits the station on lunch time on most days, bringing tuna sandwiches or an occasional slice of cake with him. There he sits on Hunter's desk, looking at his lover who is still easily handsome in his ugly uniform shirt. Hunter laughs with his partner, hands on his hips, eyes brighter than in their Dalton eyes, and Sebastian swears they wouldn't leave this place which is their safe haven despite its secret.

It usually happens on first Friday of the month. Sometimes on Monday and sometimes they get a free pass. Sebastian leaves for work in the morning, he works at the local newspaper writing about Mrs. Edwards's cat's tendency to run away, and basketball games of town's high school team. Around noon sky becomes purple. Together and wordlessly all people raise their eyes from the work, starting to pack their things. There is no question about staying at work, on these days only your loved ones matter. The town can wait, it has done that thousands of times.

Crossing his legs Sebastian sits in the lobby of the office building, waiting for his boyfriend. It's only less than a mile to their house, but Sebastian takes his promises to Hunter seriously. He is not going to walk home alone, not now when the sky is purple and people are in a hurry to make it home before world goes dark outside their houses and small sources of light.

Seeing a familiar figure through glass doors softens all the tense muscles of his body. Sebastian gets on his feet, opening his arms for a hug, and there he is, smelling like sawdust, and coffee from the station, nuzzling the side of Sebastian's neck before moving to his mouth and giving him a quick kiss.

”Let's go, babe. It's not wise to be here longer than it's necessary.”

He is right. They walk hand in hand, Hunter telling short stories of his day, and both of them keeping an eye on the sky that's darkening on every moment. Sebastian gives a short wave to Kurt who is coming from the opposite direction, carrying tired Sasha. He had arrive shortly after them, young man and an adopted baby both looking like they had seen they didn't want to talk about.

Sebastian won Kurt's acceptance on that day because he didn't see it as his business to comment a dark bruise uglifying his milky skin. His eyes grey like steel Kurt stared at him, finally nodding at the blue neat house behind his back. ”Sasha needs her nap. But after I have put her to bed, you can come and have a glass of iced tea at the porch. If you want to do that.”

One glass turned into three, and a three hours talk. Sebastian is the only person who has ever been invited inside the blue house, and Kurt is the closest thing to a friend he has in this place. Over the years Sebastian has learned that just like Sebastian and Hunter, Kurt has no real need to work. He simply has money. Sometimes he has spread a pile of fashion sketches on his kitchen table, looking at them with barely hidden desperation.

”There was a couple at the diner when I had coffee with James. Young people, their car had broken a couple of miles west from here.”

It always happens. Sebastian doesn't let his mind speculate why cars of some poor people always break down on this day of the month. In the evening they would be dragged on the front steps of the motel and pushed outside on the worst possible moment, right into thickest mass of toads.

It has gone closer than Hunter would have liked, Sebastian knows that from his familiar glances at the sky. Dark is coming quicker than usually, but quietly they just walk inside, to the dim safety of their house. Time would be passed in the basement where they have a comfortable area, a few sofas, PlayStation and even another bed behind behind a decorated folding screen.

For a while they pretend that it's okay, that it's not more than a peaceful evening at home. When thuds of frogs against the house are filling the air, Sebastian finally breaks, quiet whine rising from his throat. His mind is glued to the picture of the house, going through every corner and door. Forgetting one window open could mean death tonight, but when he is about to push himself into a panic mode, wide hands touch his shoulders, massaging him gently.

”I spent weeks making this house safe. Every window has been checked three times and covered, and there are barricades in front of the doors, because I know what that knowledge does to your peace of mind.”

Hunter uses gentle strength to push Sebastian on his stomach. Resting some of his body weight on the swell of Sebastian's ass he waits. They have done it sometimes in these nights, made love with heavy hips, tired tickles making them laugh afterwards. Sebastian thinks he has never been less interested in sex than right now.

Turning his head away from the kisses is a clear clue to his lover. They never push with sex. Sebastian simply doesn't spread himself on the bed, waiting for Hunter with rose petals and wine, because he can't know if flashbacks have put Hunter on his knees at work, and how many hours he has pretended that everything is fine, that he doesn't see Sebastian's father holding a gun against his temple in his nightmares.

Sebastian isn't proud of that night or any of those happenings. But he doesn't give a fuck about his mother's empty jewelry box either. He saved the most shiny one to Hunter, putting it on the cool palm of his hand and wrapping those strong fingers around it.

”It's you and I now, babe.

He doesn't put pressure on his lover, if Hunter wants hot chocolate and cuddles on the sofa, that's what he is going to get. For a moment Sebastian stares into his boyfriend's blue eyes before making a light gesture with his hand. ”Can you just hold me?”

Hunter does that, wiggling in the bed until he is laying on his side, Sebastian safely held between his strong arms. Closing his eyes he imagines that noises outside come from heavy falling rain and nothing is wrong. Fingers rub his side comfortingly, Hunter's voice calm murmur in his ear. ”Try to sleep, babe. I'm right here. Those creatures can't touch you.”

There is a half-eaten body on the lawn of Kurt's house next morning. Sebastian recognizes reddish hair covering her face, and that pink jacket. It's Amanda, only daughter and child of the Montgomeries. His shoulders heavy under the news he walks closer, only being stopped by Hunter who grabs his elbow.

”Let's go back inside. I'll call to the station. Then I'll take you to the diner to have ice-cream.”

”Yeah, I'd like that”, Sebastian replies hoarsely, knowing that Hunter is right. This is not their business.

 


	17. Hard as I worked all day, I'm gonna work harder loving on you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After spending four days in Massachusetts I went to New York for two nights last week. Walking on Times Square gave me a burst of inspiration, I think I have never seen a place that is so simply alive. I only hope to be back one day. Or next year if luck is on my side. 
> 
> Pieces of life in this fic, and I borrowed the title from a Jon Pardi song.

When he hears that Hunter is back, truly back, Sebastian finds himself throwing his cat to amazed Jeff's arms, _What does he even eat, Seb, what if he gets sick, Seb you can't do this to me,_ and running towards a train station. He ends up panting like a hound, and gathering weird looks from a few middle-aged ladies. Usually he doesn't come back if he can only avoid it. Sebastian has no good memories of a place where not being challenged by people enough led to less pleasant things.

One of his rare good memories is currently sitting at the round kitchen table, his cane resting on his thighs, hands warming against a coffee mug. Hunter carries scars on his body like finest jewelry and seems to have finally found a home with himself. ”Is there a boyfriend?” he blurts out suddenly, voice eager and ears pink, when most pleasantries are exchanged.

Sebastian grins, but it's not one of his sardonic looks. For a brief moment his mind stays with Kurt who looks beautiful when he lies among all pillows of Sebastian's bed, naked body perfect in the Sunday sunshine. Sebastian has photographed him, captured nameless and faceless images of flat stomach and lean back. But it's not a relationship, absolutely no. They have been fucking for about eight months now, because they know what to expect from each other. Kurt never betrays him, and Sebastian is one of the anchors of his life in return.

He would be only happy for him if Sebastian managed to find something real.

Just of course they find themselves in the sheets of Sebastian's bed from his teenager years. As far as Sebastian knows, Hunter has never been with a man, but he doesn't hesitate. Kisses are desperate, hands slipping on slick skin, looking for a grip, until Sebastian wraps his fingers around Hunter's wrists, reminding himself that he usually thinks with his brain, not with his dick, thank you very much.

”I just want to fucking disappear, Smythe”, he whispers, avoiding Sebastian's eyes, but letting his hand rest on Sebastian's stomach, underneath his thin t-shirt.

Sebastian takes his history to New York with him. People tend to find it little crazy. Jeff's voice is perfectly polite when he gives Artemis to Hunter's waiting arms, but raised eyebrows behind his back tell that he doesn't get it. For him Hunter is nothing but trouble and more trouble even though they are supposed to be adults now.

Hunter fills the space between his wooden kitchen table and window easily. Sebastian likes to have him there, staring at the rooftops of all the buildings, and coming back from walks in Central Park. When icy rains come, they go back to kissing stuff like some kind of time-out would have been a wordless agreement. They kiss like boys they used to be only some years ago. In the darkness Sebastian follows routes of his lover's scars, and shudders when he is allowed to feel every tight muscle on Hunter's body.

As a teenager, when he got angry words and nervous kisses from Hunter in turns, Sebastian used to play with images of the two of them having sex. Sometimes he stroked himself lazily, masturbating at the pleasurable images in his mind, but mostly his perspective towards those things was practical. Sebastian has always been flexible with his preferences, his willingness to top or bottom depending on the day, but in his imagination even imagining a dick anywhere near his ass was too much to Hunter.

But there he is, using his strong calves to pull Sebastian closer, encouraging him to take what is offered so genuinely. ”Are you sure?” Sebastian asks, palms of his hands on his boyfriend's thighs, silly smile trying to conquer his face.

”You are the only thing I’m sure about.”

Hunter would never be pressured, Sebastian would rather spend rest of his years with his right hand than see his lover anxious, but he is still feeling little bit smug when Hunter guides his cock between his legs where he is tight and slick. ”You will be gentle and all that shit?” he mumbles right before Sebastian is allowed to thrust, blue eyes glassy and dark.

”Anything and everything to you”, Sebastian swears, kissing his forehead.

It has been five minutes, and he is already tired of this whole discussion. Mr Clarington's face is like a storm cloud, and his wife is eyeing Sebastian's kitchen nervously, like she wouldn’t believe that instead of sex toy collection Sebastian’s kitchen contains completely normal things, like a glass jar full of pasta, baking supplies, and magnets on the refrigerator door.

Here he makes pancakes to Hunter, and shares rushed morning kisses. On one unforgettable morning they had fucked on that table. The apartment is the place where they both have always felt completely safe, and Sebastian feels horrible about his mistake to let these narrow-minded people through the door.

Hunter isn't in the apartment. He is having a breakfast in Jeff's place, holding Artemis in his lap, and tasting different foods, carefully protected from this mess. ”Hunter isn't interested to meet you, he has made it very clear several times. He did what you wanted him to do, now it's his turn to take reins in his life.”

Sebastian is aware of this too tight grip of the coffee mug. Goosebumps cover his arms, and he just wishes these people would already leave.

”Do you pay him?” Amanda Clarington asks suddenly, her tone snobbish and accusing. Sebastian doesn't believe his ears. Not really. He is many things, and he is no saint, but nobody else has asked him something so dirty and inappropriate, thing he really can't accept.

World is only red. He has no idea of the happenings of next few minutes, but then he sees Hunter's mom holding her cheek and screaming more ugly words at him. She is like five feet and three, would never be a physical threat to a tall guy like Sebastian. He isn't proud of using physical violence, but she had crossed a line. 

”Out, now”, Sebastian pants, wanting them far away from his only safe haven. Apparently he manages to text Kurt or Jeff even though fog of pure rage is still separating him from real world. They don't come. Instead they send Hunter whose walks little bit unevenly behind his back.

Heavy hands land on his shoulder, and a pair of lips presses a kiss on the top of his head. ”It's useless to try to be rational with them, but thank you anyway. For trying.”

Blindly Sebastian turns around, burying his face in his lover's chest, and clutching him tightly, like he would fear that the Claringtons could take their pure and beautiful son away from him. He doesn't understand how such toxic people can be parents of someone who is still so simply good even though he had been forced to grow up with them.

”What did they say to you?” Hunter asks, playing with Sebastian's soft hair.

”I don't want to lose you to them”, Sebastian mumbles, breathing in his boyfriend's scent, trying to steady his shaky hands, and stop his mind from painting horrible scenarios in which Sebastian is alone again. He wants to keep this, those rare moments when Sebastian is up before his boyfriend, and he is allowed few precious moments to watch his lover who finally looks peaceful.

”I'm not going anywhere.”

Their walks on Times Square are the times when Hunter laughs and smiles freely, buying Sebastian silly trinkets from gift shops, and pulling him to see every new interesting thing closer. It hurts his heart to watch Hunter kneeling next to a puppy, letting the animal to sniff his open palm.

Afterwards he senses Hunter's discomfort, knowing that once injured body parts are again bothering him. He is stiffer than before, has changed gym and jogging for swimming a very long time ago. Sebastian doesn't like even Hunter enough accompany him on week days, but on Saturdays he makes sure to get up in time. After driving his lover to the pool Sebastian spends hour and half in the cafeteria, feet propped up on another chair obnoxiously. Later Hunter comes to him, looking relaxed. Little redhead behind the counter eyes him curiously, pulling her already low top down until Sebastian clears his throat, giving her a meaningful look. He has no time for that kind of nonsense when some desperate female tries to steal his man.

Decision to do that is a result of careful thinking. Sebastian has considered possible worst-case scenarios, and hoped that his instinct doesn't betray him now. When a luxurious black box arrives, Sebastian takes it to his lover, almost praying that he doesn't poke intimacy between them in a wrong way. He had just noticed things, hidden curiosity in a pair of blue eyes, Hunter longing things he had been taught to consider impossible.

He picks up a pair of satin panties, their blue almost same as his eyes. Something seems to squeeze Sebastian's heart. He knows that one wrong word on this moment would wipe away everything they have built together. Hunter's trust is in his hands, has been for a long time, but it doesn't mean they would be absolutely unbreakable together.

”How did you...?” Hunter's voice is hoarse, question breaking in the air.

”I know you. It's okay if you want to be pretty, babe.” Sebastian doesn't really have a strong opinion of whole thing. Seeing lingerie against Hunter's bare skin doesn't especially turn him on, but it's not repulsive either. It's a thing he is willing to take in his life if it makes his lover happier.

It's not a full-time thing. Sometimes they rest in the bottom drawer for weeks when Hunter hurries from one activity to another. Then Sebastian comes home on a rainy day, tired from a long day, mouth sticky from his too sugary coffee. Whole apartment smells like something warm and delicious, Hunter has baked, and there is a gorgeous man in their bed, soft underwear covering most intimate part of his body. Sebastian hums to himself while he drops clothes into a line on the floor. His headache and annoyance are both gone – who would dare to complain when they have someone this wonderful in their life?

With familiar, well-practiced movements he slides next to Hunter, pulling the covers on them. The man next to him has curled up into a ball. With a satisfied sigh he seeks contact of their bodies, letting Sebastian wrap an arm around his middle. This is not one of those times when Sebastian's hand travels down Hunter's body, looking for a way to tease his dick. He feels perfectly whole laying there with the man of his life.

”Love you, grumpy”, he whispers against soft skin.


	18. When you're all about me and I'm all about you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”Get bored of you, and our sex life...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Borrowed the title from Jason Aldean.

It had been a bad idea, maybe one of the worst ones ever, and they are talking about brain which had thought that it wouldn't be a horrible idea to sacrifice Jeff to a blind date with bored Stacey Smythe. It had resulted in a bowl of the pasta on the floor, and several insulted feelings after Stacey had considered it appropriate to laugh at Jeff's collection of romantic comedies. Taking a deep breath that does nothing to stop thoughts from bouncing in his mind, Hunter follows his boyfriend to the store. At least the place is kinda classy, name painted on the window with big black and white letters not too obvious.

Sebastian seems to be, maybe not in his most comfortable area, but very close to it. Curiously he lets his green gaze scan the room, nodding at the different dildos, butt plugs, and some goddamn very technical-looking things Hunter doesn't even recognize. It's like he would be looking for different cereal in their regular grocery store instead of visiting a sex shop where people let others see all their hidden desires.

In their last two years together they have been absolutely vanilla sex, because Hunter was twenty when he finally found himself naked with other person, dropping the condom on the floor, and just being generally way more awkward than he was used to. At first he barely had had time to jerk off.  After that all the demands of the adults in his life were like an impervious jungle around him. When people would have been willing, Hunter was only exhausted, too tired to allow other person near his dick.

Sebastian watched him calmly, petting his own abdomen, long fingers almost reaching his cock. He didn't say anything about Hunter's obvious nervousness, only reached out to kiss him with lips which tasted like toothpaste.

They spent that night in a hotel, in one of the respected and old places in the city. Heavy velvet curtains smelled like history, and Hunter smiled at the British accents he heard from the bar. People working in the lobby seemed to know Sebastian who sailed inside confidently, totally easy with his own behavior. Hunter on the other hand felt like ”I CAME TO HAVE SEX HERE” would have been tattooed on his slightly damp forehead.

Their sex life is strictly limited to the bedroom where they have a wide bed with numerous fluffy pillows Sebastian had bought from different shops. In the past, when Hunter still had a room in his parent's house, he slept with one pillow and worn blanket, but Sebastian only watches with little satisfied smile his boyfriend who naps in a stripe of sunshine like a cat. They fuck changing positions, Hunter spreading his legs little desperately when Sebastian decides to go down on him, or Sebastian riding him, pushing them both towards an orgasm without mercy.

Hunter's carefully hidden insecurities had lead them to this situation. No I'm not serious, let's not do that, he had wanted to shout after Sebastian had accepted his idea to try something fresh in the bedroom. He had just been wondering if the physical things between them were enough to satisfy Sebastian who has so much more experience than his lover.

Now Sebastian walks in the shop like he would do it every day, passing a couple of college girls who are comparing different vibrators with shy giggles. When the employee, a redheaded girl in a men's plaid shirt, a piercing decorating her nose asks Sebastian if her help is needed, he actually makes a question, showing the girl one of the cock rings.

It's official. Hunter is going to die from vague embarrassment before he even makes it out of the shop. Without being asked to do that, his mind decides to create a scenario in front of his eyes. Sebastian has used things on him and keeps Hunter in his grip, taking away a change to choose. His pleasure is in Sebastian's hands, and in a tight ring around his cock. Only being good and begging could get it to him. His natural pride would be broken in their bedroom.  

"Hunt, babe? Is everything okay?"

Nothing is okay. Sebastian's voice in his ears is distant and tinny, like Hunter would hear it underwater. Sebastian mumbles a few worried curse words in French before grabbing his arm, and walking his lover outside to damp air where fresh rain falls on Hunter's too hot forehead. Leaning his forehead on Sebastian's shoulder Hunter just breathes, trying to put whole place behind himself. After a few more calming moments he has stopped feeling like he would fall to unconsciousness in any minute. 

"Do you need something? Water?" 

”Maybe it makes me boring and old school, but I don't think I can have that kind of sex. Hunter possibly is a ridiculous prude, but he doesn't want ridiculous-looking pink dildos anywhere near the room where he likes to be open and vulnerable in a situation which offers space only to his lover and his body.

Sebastian mouth opens forming a surprised o. Running his long fingers through thick strands of brown hair his lover tilts his head. ”I think it was you who suggested getting some toys.”

 ”Yeah. Because I don't want you to get bored of me and the basic sex I can offer.”

”Get bored of you, and our sex life...” Sebastian seems to have fallen from Hunter's mental train. Squeezing his lover's hand tightly he walks forward, and turns towards the first coffee shop on the street. ”I won't be talking about this in a place where every single passer-by can hear.”

Inside the coffee shop where it smells like sugar, and people are chatting happily without needing to worry about their sex lives, Sebastian leaves him at a tiny table in the farthest corner and goes to the counter, his mouth only a frustrated line. Playing with the red tablecloth nervously Hunter waits, eyeing red and orange sunset paintings on the wall. Usually Hunter keeps his embarrassing sweet tooth in control, but now Sebastian returns with a slice of cheese cake, and a huge mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream. ”I think you should get some sugar. You still look upset.”

Automatically Hunter takes the fork, and brings a small piece of cake in his mouth. Sebastian follows it quietly, leaving his own coffee without attention, and offering a reassuring smile to the server who wants to know how they are doing. From tension between them she has to realize that they are not exactly fine on at the moment, but she knows better than to offer her help where it’s not asked.

”Do you really think I would prefer to see you freaking out like that? I can't imagine what was going on in your head. You were white like a sheet.”

”I just… Don’t you ever get bored? You could have had anybody, and you chose the one who is barely used to basic sex even after all this time.”

Sebastian takes his hands in his own, rubbing Hunter's cold knuckles. ”I like you. I'm very satisfied in bed with you. With my history I could have ended up with some abusive person who would have taught me that I'm only good for fucking. It's more than sex, has always been and will always be. You have to speak about it if something bothers you like this. I would prefer not to see similar scene again.”

”Because it was embarrassing.”

 His reply was expected. Without missing a beat Sebastian replies, quiet dare in his very green eyes asking if he really wants to challenge obvious concern for his well-being. ”Because it scared the crap out of me.”

Hunter just knows that the teenager girls at the next table giggle at the kiss that’s pressed on his forehead.


	19. You and all your colors, me and my black and whites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I love you, babe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of those "Sebastian is the Flash"-fics has been coming from my keyboard for a long time, and now it's here. I have only watched the first season of show, so nothing canon compliant will be seen here. Seeing the pictures of scarred future Barry gave me inspiration for this text. 
> 
> Like usually, I'd like to warn that this is little bit darker than an average text of mine. Just to be on the safe side. 
> 
> I'm working on my master's thesis, and trying to finally get my ass out of uni, but I could say that as long as my Tumblr, autumnsaturdays is active, I always have some writing project going on. 
> 
> Title from Luke Bryan.

Hunter is in bed with a multiple murderer, a man who was once adored in this city which he protected, nearly giving his body and heart in the process. They don’t adore him anymore, and it’s quite obvious that it’s a relief to Sebastian, who is again walking with relaxed shoulders, dark eyes mirroring flames of the city. Sebastian may sow fear around himself when he leaves for a run at night, making people dance with bleeding feet until they fall to the ground, sleeping forever, but with Hunter he is tender, gentle like he would worry that one touch could break and kill him.

That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be tortured with sex, though.  Hunter’s toes curl on the white sheet when he attempts to stay still, trying to tell himself that he is not going to lose his control only because Sebastian’s dark head is between his spread legs, tongue on his body doing things which should probably be illegal. Finally he is loose and open, mindlessly longing for something he can’t put into words. Man on the top of him cups his face, looking at him so intensely that Hunter feels his cheeks warming under that gaze.

”I love you, babe.” Then he gives a powerful thrust, stealing Hunter’s reply easily. It doesn’t hurt, not after Sebastian had been so thorough with his preparations. He is thick and hard, familiar weight almost comforting inside Hunter. Closing his eyes he grabs the metallic headboard above his head, only focusing on the moment, and letting his body respond to Sebastian naturally.

Afterwards Sebastian stays in the bed with him, never abandoning their shared moment before also Hunter has completely returned in his own head, and always making sure that the unharmed half of his face is turned towards his lover.

It happened in their old lab. Hunter has never asked questions, never demanded Sebastian to tell how he had fallen on the floor, screaming in pain, and right side of his face transformed into something wet-looking and red. It was more like raw minced meat than actual human skin.  Sometimes Hunter wakes up at night, gagging because he remembers the smell of Sebastian’s skin frying. 

He was moving on autopilot, never stopping to question Sebastian even though they were surrounded by the bodies of their friends. His Nike sneakers had left wet footprints in the puddles of drying blood. Only Sebastian referred to that fact, watching it with only slightly interested eyes. Hunter had had vague ideas of some new big bad, but the new big bad had existed only in his imagination. Alone with Sebastian, in a room full of death he had never been in such a danger.  

”They were always so loud, and annoying, giving me just demands, demands and more fucking demands. Are you going to do the same?” In the past, before lightning and all the mess it caused, Hunter could have taken his lover down in a physical fight, barely breaking into a sweat, but at that moment Sebastian could have easily taken him to the roof of the highest building in the city, and then just kick him down.

”Of course not”, he replied softly, saving his life, but also meaning the words.

Nothing was same after that night. The lab burned, making Sebastian cough. He watched it weirdly, green eyes watery, and Hunter still doesn’t know if those tears were only a result of smoke irritating his eyes, or if there was more behind them. 

City isn’t the same either. People move in the shadows of the buildings, one shoulders brushing the hard surface. They are afraid of the red figure who moves in the shadows, leaving screaming and blood behind himself. But when Sebastian comes back, walking the stairs to their new, underground lab, he is only Sebastian, Hunter’s surprisingly considerate boyfriend. He is the privileged one, only person who can let his protection down with other man, but Hunter doesn’t find an ability to regret his life choices. It’s impossible to imagine life without their little bubble in the sterile rooms of the lab, or in the dusty manor above it.

Days are always long. Dust successfully covers once shiny pieces of furniture even though Hunter tries his best to fight against it. He goes outside only at nights, hiding his head under a hood of his jacket. Sometimes he considers sending Sebastian to the city to buy some paint. After bringing the brushes from the lab he is already too tired, and forgets the project even though tobacco brown walls could really use some colour.  His mind is not healthy. Hunter reads too many depressing books, and leaves all his projects unfinished, but stars on the full night sky still fill him with wonder. The nights when Sebastian curls up on the sofa, resting his head on Hunter’s thigh are magical. They watch old Disney classics, one of them humming under their breath along the songs.

Fingers linger on Hunter’s body, petting his bare hip before Sebastian gets on his feet, legs little wobbly after a good fuck. Hunter resists an urge to fall asleep, and leaves warmth of the bed too. In the bathroom he washes semen and sweat from his skin, sighing at his wide-eyed reflection in the mirror. He is physically satisfied, and mentally empty, nervous. It wouldn’t be enough before he could get up in the morning, completely confident that he wouldn’t open the tv, and see people parading Sebastian’s head around the city. What would he do then? Sit in the lab, waiting until the end of his days?

Steam escapes the bathroom with him. Sebastian is waiting at the door, and presses a carefree kiss on his cheek before closing the door behind himself. Seeing a tray waiting for him on the bed brings a thick lump in his throat. There are pieces of fruits in a blue bowl, Hunter’s favourite yogurt and a bottle of water. Exactly that kind of snack he prefers to have after sex.

 When Sebastian returns, there is a question waiting on Hunter’s lips. Staring at their nearly flooding back yard through the window he asks it, completely unprepared for the reaction he receives. ”Can we just quit this?”

He only hears a spoon dropping, and realizes how wrong his words could be interpreted. Sebastian stands there, half-naked, swallowing nervously when he imagines that Hunter is about to break their bond.

”I’m not dumping you.” Hunter can imagine that going not so well. He would try to return to his old life after being a model poster boy for two years and three months. His family, father, mother and a brother are still looking for him, publishing heart-breaking videos regularly and spreading flyers in the town. Any attempts to explain his absence would probably land him in a room with no lock inside of it.

”Can we just leave from this city? You have money. I have money. We could go somewhere where memories can’t hurt you.”

Hunter would never get used to his lover’s speed. Suddenly his shoulders are pressed against the wall. Tiny voice in his head tells that now he had done his last mistake, and crossed a line with Sebastian. Other man sees fear in his eyes, hurt flashing on his own face.

”Babe. You don’t need to be afraid of me.” Raising Hunter’s hand on his face Sebastian kisses his pulse point. Dark-haired man gives a tiny slice of his pride away by pushing Hunter back on the bed, and kneeling in front of him.

”I would give you anything. Do you realize that?” Hunter doesn’t talk, only lets his hands pet silky hair. This time Sebastian doesn’t flinch or avoid the touch when Hunter’s fingers slide to touch the scarred side of his face. He is mindlessly in love with this young man whose experiences are worth hundred years.  Hunter would cancel the killings, cancel the lightning and cancel even coming to his goddamn place, but he has no regrets when it comes to loving Sebastian.

”Yeah”, he replies hoarsely, knowing that they wouldn’t leave. Sebastian would stop putting his life under threat, but that time when they could have left lights of this place behind is already lost.  


	20. a zombie screams and a werewolf howls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Give our guns back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet connection keeps coming down, and at the moment I'm using the slow wifi of one of my neighbors. I'll probably lose my mind if my own connection is not working properly tomorrow. I borrowed the title from a song of a band called Demented are go after googling some suitable lyrics.

Lonely black car speeds through a desolate landscape. Hunter drives steadily, glancing at Sebastian occasionally. He is sitting on the passenger seat, a pistol shining in his hand, because you can’t be sure in this world. If they saw a a group of people around a car, looking like they were in trouble, they wouldn’t stop, only gave the car some gas, and hope their guns would miss the tires. Maybe a young mother with two toddler daughters was a real deal, and scared of dying in the desert, but their bubble had only space to the two of them.

Eighteen months ago they had left the school in a group of eleven boys. Now two of them are left. Hunter never talks about that night when he woke up to a swishing sound, and got up, his nervous, howling wolf guiding him to grab his boyfriend’s arm. Rest of the night was spent in a tree, Hunter’s hands pressed on the ears of Sebastian who bit his own palm with tears in his eyes, knowing what was happening below them.

For last few weeks they have been catching occasional news on the radio. They don’t come regularly. Once Sebastian was up at dusk, deciding to check the radio after washing his face with ice cold water from the river. On other time Hunter listened to it in the middle of the night, unwilling to wake up Sebastian.

There is a safe haven, they promise. An area protected from zombies. Calming presence of police officers and soldiers would keep them away. It’s possible to build a new life, simpler and harder life than before, but life anyway.

There is cynicism worth ten people in the car. They had only decided to check the coordinates, because they were only a drive of twelve hours away from the area. ”I’m not sure about it. I don’t want to share our supplies.” It had taken weeks to fill the backseat and truck of the car. They are two lost boys, driving forward in a world which is lost too, but at least they have kisses, Hunter’s teeth nipping Sebastian’s sensitive skin, and the dark-haired boy wrapping his long legs around Hunter’s body, asking him closer, never begging, because Smythes don’t do that.

Dozens of vehicles in different colours have been abandoned at the high wall which is built of metal and wood. They are asked to give up their guns – something that makes Hunter cringe, - and sit down to wait. Sebastian still has a knife hidden in his boot though, and he could swear that Hunter isn’t weaponless either. When a nervous-looking woman in a white coat arrives, Sebastian takes off his jacket, reaching out his left arm for a blood sample wordlessly. She isn’t allowed to do anything before Sebastian’s seriously protective boyfriend has taken a careful look at her, and the needle she is holding.

Things don’t get really interesting before both of the samples are taken behind a closed door. There voices are raised, and people they haven’t seen are obviously having a heated argument. Sebastian turns to look at his boyfriend who should be able to hear what’s going on. Hunter is a little stronger and little prettier, with a little silver in his eyes. Most people don’t recognize a werewolf when they first see one.

Nervous-looking doctor doesn’t come back. Instead they are greeted by a sight of obvious army officers. Hunter moves faster than any other person in the room, putting his body between Sebastian and older man, offering a simpler target in his broad chest. With a few movements Sebastian gets his fingers on the handle of the knife, and pulls it out.

”There is no need to get nervous”, one of the soldiers, a black guy who is possibly five years older than them tells in a steady voice even though his eyes are moving between two teenager boys. ”You are fine. We are glad to welcome you in our community”. Words are addressed only to Sebastian.

He is building an idea in his head, about to open the last door between himself and the truth this person is implying. ”Because he is a wolf, right?”

”That’s right”, he replies. ”Werewolves are immune to the zombies, and we can’t know what kind of threat that represents to normal people.”

Hunter had taken bites to him too, shielding him from claws and teeth with his own body when they were trying to break out of the abandoned mall. Later Sebastian had used cold lake water to wash the blood from his skin, and petted already healed scars.

Sebastian licks his lips, tasting salt. He is suddenly hot, skin feeling uncomfortably tight. Lonely drop of sweat slides on the small of his back. For a moment he clutches that idea, proper showers, probably with cold water and weird-smelling soap, but showers anyway. He might even get cooked meals instead of sharing a tin can of food with Hunter at the fire. There wouldn’t be a need to sleep with one of his eyes open, ready to flee in any moment.

When a werewolf enters a relationship, it’s all or nothing. Sebastian had known what it meant, when inhumanly sharp teeth pierced his skin, leaving a perfect tattoo of bite marks on his right shoulder. Hunter’s dick was inside of him at the moment, and his leaner body was pressed against the mattress. Sebastian didn’t move, knowing that the wolf had him exactly where it wanted. Usually Hunter doesn’t let that much control to slip to his wolf, but Sebastian was never afraid of him or the wolf. When throat and belly of the wolf were bared to him for the first time, meaning of the gesture made him swallow.  These people probably think Sebastian is a just a damsel in distress who doesn’t know his own best, and should be saved from something they have never bothered trying to understand.

”Seb.” Hunter turns around, look on his face already trying to convince him. ”You would be safe here.”

He would. His days wouldn’t be filled with raiding nameless stores in nameless cities, trying to find batteries, food they could still eat, clothes or anything useful. He wouldn’t need to walk past piles of bodies, trying to keep the bile from flooding his mouth when he spots a foot of a little girl.

Here he wouldn’t have a lonely, but lovely wolf who had transformed at nights, warming him with his body on moments when they had nothing except their shared body head. Sebastian was shivering, wondering if he would see the next morning before a solid shape made him forget he was even cold in first place. Hunter has made him smile with trinkets, books and occasional sweet treats. He has promised that one day, no matter if it would take ten or twenty years Sebastian would have a house and a home library again.

There was never decision to make. Werewolf beside him may think that Sebastian doesn’t take it as seriously as his lover does, but that’s not true.

Wiping dust from the legs of his pants he gets up, prolonging the silence, letting these people think that Sebastian would join their little club jumping in joy. It’s satisfying to notice that his long look makes the army guys nervous. ”I want our guns back.”

”Civilians are not allowed to carry guns in our community…” Black guy starts a speech he has obviously learned by heart. ”Yeah, yeah yeah. I’m not about to join your little tea party here, so I’ll ask one more time. Give our guns back.”

Three pairs of shocked eyes are staring at him when Sebastian sits back on the bench, hiding first gun in his ankle holster. ”You coming big guy?” he asks with a shrug, showing that he has made his choice.

If Hunter’s eyebrows raised any higher, they would be seen on the back of his head.

They meet the first zombie right outside the gates. Sebastian takes it down with one steady shot, feeling very much alive. Pair of warm arms is wrapped around his waist. ”You know. It’s a fun thing that if we managed to find one of the werewolf communities, they wouldn’t accept you. We are an inappropriate pair to most people.”

”I guess you are stuck with me then, gorgeous”, Sebastian grins, leaning against the warm body behind himself.

”Let’s raid some fancy house, and stay there for a while. I want to fuck you in a nice bed.”


	21. OTP: They would kill for each other.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are those lips good for anything else than talking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is written in the same universe as the previous text, but in my opinion it works also alone. Some time ago I read some fics from outsider's pov, and decided to try that too.

Ryan is very much used to it, basically numb when their victims scream and kick, fighting in vain, but their current guy makes him slightly nervous. He is weirdly calm, just walks inside between Adam and Tommy, and doesn’t seem to pay attention to mean rope burns on his wrists. When he is told to sit on a wooden chair, the guy just does it and allows himself to be tied to a piece of furniture.

Before the first zombie appeared in New York, spreading horror on Times Square, Ryan was one of those losers who was constantly thrown against the lockers, or found his text books dropped in the toilet. After spending three nights locked in his family’s garage, and seeing how his father was eaten alive, Ryan and his two friends had decided that at that point world could be their playground, and they wouldn’t go down without finally having some fucking fun before it.

This guy, dark-haired and narrow-faced is not the first person who has been sitting on that chair. Any of them hasn’t left the cabin alive. Ryan prefers pussy, but isn’t against abducting guys either. It makes him feel powerful when he has a helpless male underneath him. Power is something he spent first seventeen years of life craving for.

Among Ryan and his buddies who are dressed in little more than rags, filth covering their hair and skin, this guy looks well-groomed, like someone would have been taking care of him. Under his practical green jacket the guy is wearing a soft-looking red hoodie, and his hair is as fresh as it can be, when people who still bother with personal hygiene are washing themselves in rivers or lakes. Healthy glow of his cheeks tells that their victim hasn’t been starving like some other people around, and when he had opened his mouth, Ryan had noticed two rows of healthy teeth. When Ryan had had a change to do anything he wanted in a mall that hadn’t yet been conquered, he certainly hadn’t been picking up any toothbrushes. He is certainly way more attractive than the skinny blonde chick they had hunted down a couple of weeks ago.

He makes a clicking sound with his tongue, watching them with sharp green eyes. ”Boys, boys, boys. Kidnapping, raping, and murdering people don’t have anything to do with good manners in any circumstances, but I don’t think you realize that you are really close to making the biggest fucking mistake of your pathetic lives.” ¨

Ryan resists an instinctive urge to bite his lip. No other person has been so calm on that chair. Trying to appear confident Ryan walks closer to the guy, taking a grip of his jaw. ”Are those lips good for anything else than talking?”

He is spitted at. It’s sticky and humiliating on his skin, reminding him about that time when one of the jocks at his high school had spilled half a bottle of water on his jeans, and Melissa Thomas, the most perfect specimen walking on earth had giggled holding her stomach. Mel was a cheerleader captain, her hair red flow against her back, and Ryan wouldn’t have had a change with her in any universe, but a boy could always dream.

Ryan slaps the guy, strength of his hand throwing his head to the side. ”Just wait until you are stuffed full of cock at both ends. Which one of you ladies wants to have his mouth first? To strengthen his words Ryan unbuckles his belt.

Reply doesn’t come, because there is a sound outside of the cabin. It’s a lonely, but strong howl, full of darkest rage. Connecting that sound to the confident words of their victim, Ryan makes a sophisticated guess, hoping that he would be wrong. In a hurry he almost rips the zipper of the guy’s hoodie. Pulling the collar of a black t-shirt he sees what he never wanted to see.

Wolf’s mark is only familiar from school lessons, and tv-documents, but there is no doubt that the guy they had so wisely decided to have as their next victim is a wolf’s mate. Ryan knows what kind of relationship a werewolf and their mate have, and he especially knows what happens to people who threaten the mate.

Door of the cabin falls from its hinges. Ryan hasn’t pulled a gun from its holster before the wolf is on him. World shrinks to bones snapping like sticks, screams of his buddies, and pain which swallows almost his whole mind.

”I’m here, babe. I’m not hurt. Everything is okay.” Arrogance has left the dark-haired guy’s voice. He is speaking softly like a wolf wrapped around him wouldn’t be more dangerous than a little, injured bird. Tension and nervousness leave his shoulders when the wolf runs his fingers on his mate’s body, checking for injuries. Fingers turn other boy’s head gently so the eyes glowing in the pure shades of silver can examine reddish, sensitive skin.

He is gorgeous, exactly that kind of guy Ryan would have wanted to be in high school. He would probably have murdered his own mother to get looks like that. He is hard and flat in exactly right places, unlike Ryan whose body was a collection of rolls before zombie apocalypse ripped him of cornerstones of his diet. Biceps tighten sleeves of the guy’s shirt, and he has a face to die for.

”Which one of them it was?” Words pull him back to the cruel reality. Wolf’s mate doesn’t have any other injuries, and there is no blood, but the werewolf wouldn’t be satisfied before the slap had been revenged.

Ryan tries to crawl when he guy nods at him, his grin full of wicked sunshine. Wolf reaches him, purposefully putting part of his body weight on Ryan’s already broken leg, and grabs fingers of his left hand, bending them until his scream almost raises the roof of the small house.

 They are just left to lay there, bodies broken, ripped of their supplies. In a world with ambulances and cell phones Ryan would just choose three numbers, and actual professional adults would solve everything, but now they are only one step above being already dead. Human guy comes from the bedroom, testing one of their extra guns in their hands. ”This actually isn’t a totally shitty thing”, he tells the wolf with a grin before pecking his lips lightly. 

"Have fun, guys. I would say it was nice to meet but, but I'm not good at lying." Wolf's voice is almost gentle. He turns around, putting a hand around his lover. Reality of their situation is something too big to handle. Zombies rarely wander this far in the forest, but right now Ryan would almost welcome their screeches, cold hands, and eyes filled with hungry madness. Wolf had acted through wild rage and will to protect his mate, but even in that state he had been scarily smart. None of them have injuries which would be immediately life-threatening. End would be everything except painless and quick. 

Ryan sinks in the fear he finds in the eyes of his friends. 


	22. I miss that girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't suck cock for money either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might not guess it but the title was borrowed from a Jason Aldean song.

”Alright. This needs to stop.”

Hunter had been just waiting for the stone to drop to his head, and it had definitely taken longer than he assumed. Gorgeous librarian had been keeping an eye on him, surely noticing how he had slipped in and out, and found him sleeping on different spots of the library at least half a dozen times. Hunter is present all the time, listening to lectures about local history, or trying to pretend he is really motivated to listen to choir music.

Librarian doesn’t seem to be aware that Hunter likes watching him. Glances at other guy who has to be about his age or a little bit older are rare gifts, and Hunter doesn’t allow himself to enjoy them too often. He is gorgeous with runner’s build, long legs in skinny jeans, and his smart button downs or graphic t-shirts and flannels. When the guy has no customers, he likes doodling in a notebook. Once Hunter had dared to walk past him when the pen was moving on the paper. He saw faceless ballerina figures. Very often the librarian leaves work carrying a pile of thick novels in his arms. 

Today had been one of the better days. Hunter wouldn’t steal if he didn’t need to. Couple of hours ago he had pinched a wealthy-looking guy’s wallet, and emptied it from cash. Thirty dollars is not much, but it could keep his always growling stomach quiet for a while.

”I’m sorry. I just take my stuff and go”, he mutters, reaching out for his bag. He doesn’t have many possessions, only things he never had heart to leave behind. Hunter has time to take three steps towards the door before he feels grip of bony fingers on his bicep.

”I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not asking you to leave or thinking about calling the police. Could you imagine waiting at my office until I close this place? There is a nice sofa, and a a müesli bar you can have.

About two hours later the guy with a name tag Sebastian arrives to his office. Hunter had been too restless to sleep, but he had found a blanket to wrap around himself, and read his way through a book about ponies and unrealistic adventures. It would have been easy to empty a glass jar full of coins, and go through the table and librarian’s bag, but he wouldn’t do it in this place. Library had been his safe haven, a place where he had a change to be dry and warm, surrounded by false illusion of normalcy.

Sebastian pulls a wooden chair underneath his butt, and sits down facing Hunter. ”As you know, my name is Sebastian. What’s yours?”

”Hunter”, he replies, voice thick.

 ”I don’t like sticking my nose in other people’s business, but I don’t want to deal with this anymore. Do you have a home where to go?”

Hunter never says it aloud, never allows himself to think that he hasn’t been feeling truly safe for a very long time, but his silence obviously tells Sebastian enough. ”I have my car”, he finally replies, getting a peculiar laugh in return.

”Show me your arms.” Hunter wouldn’t obey if it was any other person than his gorgeous librarian who has posters of Superman and Paris on the wall of his office, but now he just pulls his hoodie over his head, and lets green eyes study smooth skin of his arms. They have never been touched by a needle. Hunter may be only a few steps above the bottom of the ladder, but there are some things he avoids like plague.

”Fine. My extra bedroom is yours.”

Hunter raises one skeptical eyebrow even though his heart is beating significantly faster than a few moments ago. He hasn’t hardened himself enough so such suggestions from cute guys wouldn’t have an effect on him. ”What makes you think I wouldn’t murder you in your bed, and rob your house?”

”You like to read fairy tales about talking animals. Once you helped mrs Thomas’ twins to find their mom. Only two weeks ago Rebecca Jenkins asked you to keep an eye on her baby while she had to do some research for her studies. Excuse me if I don’t really believe you would be a potential murdered.”

”I don’t suck cock for money either.”

Sebastian doesn’t let surprise to be seen on his face. For a while he drops the mask of a nice little town librarian, and lets Hunter see how he behaves in his most natural element. ”Darling, darling. If you ever voluntarily offered to get on your knees in front of me, I would be happy to accept. You will be a pretty thing when you get some flesh to cover all those bones, but believe me. I’ll definitely get my cock sucked easily enough without being a jerk and blackmailing a person in a difficult situation.”

With a decorative porch, and pillars supporting balcony of the upper floor Sebastian’s brown home is like a gingerbread house, Hunter decides when other man parks the car.

”You can have a shower in the bathroom downstairs. I’ll fix the bed, and find you something to wear.

After his usual three minute washes it’s wonderful to spend glorious fifteen minutes under spray of water, massage shampoo smelling like lemon in his hair, and let water caress every tired muscle on his body.

It’s just barely possible to keep a happy moan in his mouth when Hunter sees a bit stiff, fresh sheets and covers on the bed. In the small book shelf Sebastian has collected rows of old paperbacks with softened covers and pages. There is a worn teddy bear whose fur has turned from white to gray sitting on the top of the shelf. Hunter whose nose is used to typical street smells, junk food, garbage and sweat, feels a pleasant tug in his stomach when he registers faint smell of lemon detergent.

After pulling a t-shirt and sweatpants on, Hunter leaves the room. From the living room, sitting on the corner of the sofa he finds Sebastian. Bookshelves there are massive, filled with obviously loved books which have seen lots of life. On the other corner of the sofa sleeps a huge grey cat.

”Here’s the deal. You can stay here at least until you’ll find a way to get back on your feet. I can’t hire more people in the library but I’ll ask if my buddy Jeff needs one more pair of hands in his restaurant.”

”Why are you doing this?”

”I don’t like to think about a guy who loves peanut butter cups and Peanuts comics sleeping in his car, and being scared all the time.”

”I don’t believe you.” If Sebastian’s comment was the whole truth behind his offer, his house would be full of strays.

Sebastian’s face hardens, lips forming a narrow line, and eyes full of emotion Hunter can’t understand. ”My sister left to New York when we were only seventeen. She had silly ideas about becoming next Carrie Underwood. Maybe someone could have helped her too, and my mom wouldn’t be slowly dying and obsessed with missing teenagers. I can’t and I don’t want to try to save everyone, but maybe I can silence voices in my head this way.”

Later Hunter borrows a laptop as he was told to do freely, and googles Stacey Smythe’s missing person poster. Very pretty and petite girl looks at the camera with small smile on her face. She has almost black, shiny hair and her twin brother’s green eyes. Hunter thanks her bringing her brother in his life, and hopes she is not feeling any pain or fear, wherever she is.


	23. Baby you're a little mind, baby you're a little mind reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...and I want your adorable ass in my bed tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gag reflex-thing was on one of those prompt blogs, but I don't have it saved. Title from Dustin Lynch.

Hunter knows he is a workaholic, too wrapped up in his studies, and job at the movie theater to know when it’s getting unhealthy. At least once a month his big group of friends drags him out. With the guys Hunter goes through their usual so called guy business, talking about sports and gym plan. Every girl gets his attention on the dance floor because he is the only male in their group with sense of rhythm and enough common sense not to embarrass his partner with too creative dance moves.

Occasionally they are offering him a phone number, or showing pictures from their phones. ”Isn’t Tia cute?” Tia, Amber, Caroline, and Annie had all been cute and surely nice girls, but when Hunter lies awake at night, sounds of the city reminding him how lonely his life can be, he knows he doesn’t want someone who fits underneath his arm just right, and has a smell of strawberry in their hair.  

He has been in relationships. Two of them were more mature than holding hands, and exchanging text messages accompanied by nervous giggles. He had been dumped because Hunter doesn’t pay attention, Hunter doesn’t care, and Hunter is distant. It’s also quite a blow to most people’s self esteem, when their partner thinks that having sex barely once a month is way too much. In Hunter’s opinion it wasn’t too bad performance. Even getting hard took lots of mental practice at that point.

Star of his fantasies is always someone with hard chest and hips. They are so close together that Hunter doesn’t even know where the other man begins, and where Hunter himself ends. Dragging his hand up on his partner’s body, he squeezes a hip, tired lips praying for a kiss.

Sex could come with a relationship, but right now he only wants intimacy of domestic life, someone to take out on Fridays, arguing about daily things when they are both frustrated and tired, and a person to cuddle with in his bed. It’s a too big bed to one person, Hunter thinks, sitting naked in the pile of wrinkled blankets. He only wants world to stop for a moment.

Now he is alone, shyly staring at his red drink instead of people around him. Three tables away in front of Hunter two girls sit with their heads pressed close to each other. One of them, tall redhead has a head full of wild curls, and at least a full dozen of silver metal bracelets. When Hunter takes a look at her, she gives a quick, casual kiss on other girl’s brown skin. It’s obvious to everyone that those easy, casual kisses have been exchanged for years.

From his seat Hunter can’t see them, but he is aware of two little older men behind his back. They are maybe in their forties, and even though they didn’t touch or even talk on that short moment it took Hunter to reach this small table, peace around them was palpable.

It’s a nice place. Music is quiet enough that people can talk without having to shout. Everyone can just be themselves and throw all the worries away for a while. Hunter might enjoy himself too if there wasn’t this guy sitting at his left, royally alone at his table, and eyes glued to Hunter.

Attention from him isn’t unwanted, though. Hunter can say no very well if he wants to. He just doesn’t know how to proceed when a happy-eyed guy grins at him, invitation dark in his eye. Taking a tiny sip of liquid from his glass Hunter raises his blue eyes, nerves making him wonder if he looks fat in his tight shirt.

He is once agan watching, but now his lips are forming silent words. ”I have no gag reflex”, he mouths, bursting into a happy laugh, when Hunter almost spits the liquid from his mouth on the table. There is nothing malicious in the guy, so when a forefinger moves, inviting him closer, Hunter obeys.

”First time here, darling?” he asks, folding his arms on his chest. He has a half-finished drink whose name Hunter doesn’t know, and legs which would surely look good wrapped around man’s hips. Hunter notices a pair of mint green Converse shoes, and all the sharpness of his hard body. He is a little skinny, and only the green eyes and smile on his face are soft.

”Does it really look that bad?”

”Not at all, darling. It’s adorable. You are thoroughly adorable, and I want your adorable ass in my bed tonight.”

Hunter ends up on other man’s bed, sitting on the dark blue cover like a fifteen year old, when he has no idea how to continue or where to put his damn hands. Sebastian kneels on the other side of the bed, smiling at him peculiarly. He is naked, cock dark and thick, and stomach flat under a long-fingered hand. ”I don’t know how you have had sex before, but if my observations have been right, taking your clothes off could speed up things.”

Swallowing his nervousness from his mouth Hunter just pulls his shirt over his head. Green eyes widen a little, and Sebastian whistles softly. Heat rises on Hunter’s cheek when he tells himself not to avoid obviously adoring gaze. Maybe spending all those hours at gym has a benefit he hadn’t considered before.

Sebastian’s fingers are cold, but his lips are warm when they make contact for the first time. Taking his time dark-haired man kisses down Hunter’s body, making goosebumps run on his skin, when he touches a nipple gently.

He didn’t lie about his lack of gag reflex. Controlling the pace the beautiful dark-haired man blows him, knowing what wet heat of his mouth does to Hunter. His hip buck helplessly, but Sebastian just chuckles, and presses him back against the mattress. ”You are so fucking hot”, he whispers, giving a quick kiss to Hunter’s hip.

Shaking a little Hunter wraps his fingers around other man’s cock for the first time. ”You don’t need to, you know. I want you to know that”, Sebastian pants, and nips his bottom lip. Hunter is a little too cautious at first, and the man next to him lets out a breathless, soft laughter. ”I won’t break, darling.”

Hunter smiles a little, more awkward than he is used to be. Imagining that it’s his own cock, Hunter tightens his grip a little, listening to the encouraging sounds Sebastian is making. Silly smile covers his face when the man in his arms comes with blank eyes, his warm liquid covering Hunter’s hand.

Waking up happens naturally, without worries. He is living in the illusion of a normal Saturday morning until he stretches and opens his eyes. Instead of a familiar messy collage of photos from his yearly trips to California, Hunter faces a bunch of completely different photos on the blue wall opposite the bed. In some of them his host is kissing the cheek of a good-looking guy, who has sunglasses, and blond stripes in his chestnut brown hair. Just sitting in the bed, waiting for the sleepiness to leave his body, Hunter lets his gaze wander in the room, noticing piles of books everywhere, and large maps on the walls. One of them has been punctured by twenty five blue tacks.

Abandoning his shirt from previous night, Hunter pulls his underwear on, and wraps a lonely blanket on his shoulders. He is probably breaking all the social rules, when he hasn’t left yet, but the truth is Hunter doesn’t want to go. He wants to see what kind of body wash Sebastian uses, and might be interested in to rub it in his skin too. Afterwards they could cuddle in front of the fireplace in the living room, and other man could tell stories of his numerous travels.

In the kitchen he finds a man who lowers his book, looking like he had been only killing time while waiting for Hunter to wake up. ”Breakfast, darling?”

Hunter bites into a warm muffin, and Sebastian’s toes tickle his ankle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like Kurtbastian as a ship, but I support nothing more than those two as BFFS. 
> 
> My tumblr is autumnsaturdays.


	24. All my pain, washed away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lately I have been more than obsessed with Kane Brown's song What's mine is yours. In the Youtube-comments I saw some guy telling that he'd like to play this song when he is going to propose to his girlfriend. There came the inspiration to write one of good, old proposal-fics.

They are following the spectacle of the week from the corner of the stairs, both very unwilling to have any kind of part in the happenings. When hesitant fingertips barely touch his side, Sebastian stays completely still, knowing that Hunter could interpret every move in his own, peculiar ways, and draw conclusions Sebastian doesn’t want him to reach. This shouldn’t end before they have had even a proper beginning.

_You talk in your sleep._

_”What? I don’t do that.”_

_”Yes, you absolutely do. I think it’s some gibberish in French, or whatever. It’s still adorable.”_

Encouraged by Sebastian’s neutral reaction, other boy just touches him for a while, gaining courage for his next move. Dark-haired boy could purr when he a muscular arm is wrapped around him. Hunter pulls him snugly against his side, and leans to whisper in Sebastian’s ear. ”How long do you think it will take before Anderson fucks up again?”

_You know when it’s serious, and never laugh on those moments._

_Hunter leans closer to kiss the corner of his mouth, his eyes very wide and pale, almost grey._

_He is terrified of planes, has always been. Watching Mayday probably didn’t help, but Sebastian knew better than to snap about his lover’s tv-show choices. After finding their seats, and buckling their seat belts, he just took his boyfriend’s hand, holding it through whole eight hour flight._

”I’ll give it six months, and that’s me being generous.”

Hours later they are both tired, just relaxing in their dorm room. Sebastian has curled up on his bed, watching Hunter on the side other side of the room. His legs are put on the wall, and look on other boy’s face is carefree, softer than the usual hard mask  he uses around people. Sebastian wants to kiss this boy who seems to anchor him in a positive way.

_You feel so good around my cock._

_Taking a deep sigh Sebastian lowers himself on his lover’s leaking, hard length. They both moan a little, Hunter’s comforting fingers finding the skin of his cheek. ”You okay, beautiful?”_

  _”Yeah, I am.” When strong arms push him on his back on the mattress, and a low voice tells him to spread his legs a little more, Sebastian is not feeling used or worryingly vulnerable. He wants to be here, accepts that Hunter is seeing every part of his body, even those spots he hasn’t been too confident of in the back of his head._

_Sex with feelings is so much better because it never leaves him feel hollow afterwards._

”How would you like to be proposed to?”

”I’m not sure, but it should be intimate and sexy. Hopefully I can trust my partner, and he is not going to invite a big audience to witness a moment which should be only for us.”

Sebastian is a cynical high school kid, more insecure about him than people know. He is not sure if someone would like to have his demanding personality around long enough that they could even reach that level, where proposals could be a realistic idea.

Actually dating him is hard. Both of them yell their insecurities out, ready to hurt before other boy could do it. Swallowing his emotions Sebastian sits on his bed, hands petting Hunter’s hair. ”I’m not going anywhere, you know. Be as difficult as you want to be, I’m going to fight with you, not against you.”  

Brick by brick they build the house of their relationship. Sebastian’s books get mixed with Hunter’s collection until they become _their_ books. At Friday they have a date at the corner sushi restaurant, and Sebastian uses Japanese when he orders, surprising his delighted boyfriend. One day he suddenly realizes that the stone foundation of their relationship is strong. They are stable, knowing what they are together and without each other.

_You organize, not only yours but also my shirts by colour._

_”Does it bother you?” Sebastian has always been a little anxious about being neat, and having his things in order._

_”No beautiful. As long as you don’t experience too much anxiety, it’s alright. It’s a part of you.”_

Sebastian sits on the bed in one of the suites in Four Seasons. Absent-mindendly he watches shape of the Central Park. From the 32nd floor it couldn’t look much more absurd. Sebastian has snapped a picture and uploaded it to Instagram with a vague caption about a weekend in his favourite city, when the thought hits him like a train, pushing away the relaxed bliss where he had been basking.

He will be asked to marry Hunter this weekend. All the signs are suddenly obvious. Sebastian lost count of their trips to New York ages ago, but usually they have preferred something a lot less formal than Four Seasons despite being two trust fund brats who have never needed to think about money.

_You are the biggest Simone Biles-fangirl I have ever met._

_”She is an amazing athlete”, Sebastian comments._

_”She is. But most people don’t get as excited as you when she is even mentioned on tv.” Hunter’s smile is a little teasing. ”Sometimes I feel like I would be number two around here.”_

After checking in they had just let their clothes fall on the floor. Silly smile on his lips Sebastian had followed his naked boyfriend to the bathroom, and then watched thick, sweet-smelling foam covering his body. When their bodies came into full contact, Hunter’s warm nudity still feeling as wonderful as years ago, Sebastian pressed their foreheads together. Hunter was hard underneath him.

”Someone is happy to see me.”

_You usually eat my cooking._

_Sebastian grimaces, remembering lasagna which had looked like a brick in their kitchen. It tasted of nothing, and he is still wondering how someone was able to produce absolutely tasteless meal. Hunter looked proud though. The table was set nicely with a red tablecloth and napkins, and any time he could spend in the company of his boyfriend is time well spent._

Sebastian is not even wearing a button-up, only Hunter’s ancient t-shirt which had felt so soft in his fingers. Man of his life, that sneaky bastard who had told he had ”something to do” in the city, is coming back on any moment with a ring, and Sebastian is not wearing pants, or even nice brand underwear. There he sits, hair unstyled, and fingers sticky from the strawberries Hunter had left him.

Those worries become meaningless when the door to the suite is opened, and he hears Hunter’s steady footsteps. Of course that jerk has had change to change his shirt into a nicer one. Worries shrink to meaningless size when he stands there, small smile on his lips.

”You are beautiful.” Hunter doesn’t say anything else, only gives a big glass jar filled with white and blue notes into his hands, and puts his phone on the table. Kane Brown’s familiar voice fills the room, and Sebastian is only an uncontrolled ball of emotions.

_You bought me art for my birthday._

_That one is a surprise. It had only been a copy of Mona Lisa in pretty silver frames. Hunter had hanged it above his desk, and apparently appreciated the gift a lot._

_”You never said it was stupid, but just went and got me that picture.”_

Hunter lowers himself on one knee, and tugs his hand gently. ”Babe?” Sebastian makes a sound, managing to keep tears at bay a little longer.

”Sebastian Nicholas Smythe. Will you marry me?”

”Yes, of course I marry you.” Ring is simple silver, a little thicker than he would have assumed, but still quite natural on his finger.

”What are those?” Sebastian asks, nodding at the glass jar. Hunter bites his lip, and touches the lid of the jar hesitantly. ”What are these? Reasons why I love you.”

_You didn’t mind when I got all flustered in the sex museum._

_Most people have had some kind of sex at some point in their lives, so Sebastian doesn’t see a reason to get any confused. Sex museum in Amsterdam is an experience with big capital, Hunter hiding his warm face in the crook of Sebastian’s neck, and all the people who are so eager to see even though they don't want to show it. Above his desk he hangs a picture of the two of them kissing between two plastic dicks._

They fall into a warm, cozy pile. Sebastian grimaces a little, when his fiance – what an exciting word, pulls his soft cock out of him. Other man just lies next to him, pulling Sebastian closer. ”I didn’t really have anything important to do, you know? I was downstairs, and the receptionist guy was giving me a pep talk for the proposal, ” he tells, staring at the ceiling. ”Occasionally you still make me nervous like I was a teenager. I like that. It makes life with you exciting.”

Next morning, Hunter’s arm still holding him close to his body, Sebastian makes another Instagram update. It’s a picture of his hand and engagement ring in the dusty morning light. To keep it interesting he leaves the caption empty. When he is pulled into a kiss, first surprised comments appear.

 _What's mine is yours_  
_Every breathe I take, every choice I make_  
_It might sound crazy_  
_All my pain, washed away, in the blink of an eye_  
_Yeah, you saved me_  
_You got all of me and I don't need it anymore_  
_What's mine is yours_  
_What's mine is yours_  
_What's mine is yours_

 _Kane Brown - What's mine is yours_  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I consider it necessary to inform you that this is one of the "research-fics". There really is a sex museum in Amsterdam with two plastic cocks, and Four Seasons in NYC is naturally a thing too.


	25. It's a 3 day drive if she drives all night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something bad had gone down last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Big and rich. 
> 
> Feeling so shitty about Avicii. I just wish it would have gone differently.

Horror movie character who decides to follow the small, windswept sign saying ”motel 1 mile” is never going to find a cute bed and breakfast place with a grandma type owner who wants to cook them a full English breakfast, at the end of the road, but at this point Sebastian’s car is moving on the sweet memories of a nice, full tank of gas. Backseat of his BMW is not too uncomfortable, but if he survived the night without Big Driver deciding to check his happily sleeping ass, that wouldn’t do anything to the gas problem.

That’s why the turns the BMW on the small, almost forgotten road, and lets his mind wander, remembering all the grossest scenes of Hostel movies. He had once watched the whole series with a bottle of Jack and a broken heart. Sebastian had actually spent his lunch breaks dreaming of a shared goddamn future until the guy had _thanked him for the fun._ It was the first time when Sebastian had movie dates, and picnic Sundays in his calendar. He had even allowed him to meet his sister, which was normally unspeakable privilege.

Driving through layers of dark, dry trees brings him to a small clearing. In front of the car he sees a small office building, and a travesty of architecture at his left has to be the actual motel. Last rays of sun try their best to paint the building with warm gold and yellow, but that doesn’t really improve the situation. Nose wrinkling in disgust Sebastian eyes wet, obviously moldy stains on the white brick walls, and wonders how likely the roof would fall to his head during the night.

His gloomy mood brightens a little when the door of the office is opened. Broad-shouldered figure with a trim waist leaves the building, and heads towards the unknown car.  When the guy moves his fingers, encouraging Sebastian to open the car window, he doesn’t hesitate before doing it.

”I’d need gas to get this baby to move. And a room for one night.”

Stranger slides his fingers on the still warm side of the car. ”I can refuel this beauty to you, it’s not a problem.” He doesn’t mention anything about the room, only takes his time, and lets his blue gaze study the quiet buildings and the yard. Hearing one lonely crow croaking startles the guy. Finally he seems to have made a decision.

”Guess what? If you keep going for ten more miles, you’ll reach Kurt’s place. If you say hello from Hunter, he will let you sleep on his sofa. He will be grumpy about it, but does it anyway.” His smile is soft, persuading.  

Most of Sebastian’s accommodation experiences come from different Hiltons and other classy chain hotels, where people had always been very eager to say a warm hello to his credit card, so he supposes it’s not usual that an employee of a motel which looks like it’s ready to collapse on any moment is not interested to welcome a paying customer.

Sebastian doesn’t want to drive even one more mile. He wants to get out of his clothes, and have a shower if they even have working showers in this place. With a dramatic sigh other young man gives up.

”Okay, then. Promise me one thing? Stay in your room. If you want something, a snack or a bottle water, you’ll use the phone, and press one. That gives you a connection to the office. I’ll be there.”

After receiving an old-fashioned key Sebastian goes to check his home for one night.

Sight in the room is no too encouraging. Wooden floor would probably be more comfortable to sleep on than the bed with thin mattress. Water in the bathroom switches from ice cold to burning hot randomly, and a huge spider decides it’s an appropriate time to walk across the floor.

After walking two restless rounds in the room, and becoming aware of it how achy and stiff the long drive had left his body, Sebastian finally gives up, laying down on the bed. Before falling asleep he hopes he wouldn’t catch any nasty germs from this place. Maybe he should call the authorities tomorrow, and hopefully get this nasty joke closed for good.

Voice waking him up is innocent enough. Giggling sounds like fingernails scratching a blackboard, but Sebastian doesn’t think much of it. Some lady putting a price to physical love, maybe. Sleepily he turns around in the bed, when he sees something moving in the corner of his vision. Sebastian shoots to a sitting position, pulling the covers to hide his chest like he would be a chaste Victorian lady.

He stays still, just waiting for the movement to happen again. It does. Vague, human-shaped figure appears in the window, bringing something thick and nervous in Sebastian’s throat. At the same a careful hand tries his door. Eyes squinting Sebastian watches the door handle moving, but the lock doesn’t give up.

Before he had left for this trip, unplanned journey through the continent, his wide-eyed twin sister had pushed her pink pepper spray in Sebastian’s hands. ”I don’t like thinking about you alone on the road. I’d feel a lot better if you had some way to defend yourself.”

Sebastian had only accepted it to please his sister, but feeling the cool item in his fingers loosens tightening grip of his nerves. He might spray himself in the face if he really tried to use it, but that he could worry about later.

Female voice screams. It’s not only one, joyful screams, but continues until she breaks into desperate sobs. Pepper spray drops from his hand to the mattress when Sebastian wraps his arms around his own knees. Booming chanting seems to come from everywhere, tiniest cracks of the walls, floor and ceiling. He is small and scared in the middle of the noises, feeling like a mouse hiding from a predatory bird. Then it stops suddenly. For a while.

They are not speaking a language you would hear at an airport where different ways to speak melt together. Sebastian doesn’t need to recognize the language to know that those lines should stay in the hidden books of history, buried under weight of centuries. They shouldn’t have any kind of spot in a normal society. Female voice begins talking again. This time she is begging for her life, senselessly promising them anything else. Silence cuts air like an axe, telling what happened to the speaker. His hand silences Sebastian’s whimper just barely.

At the same time with the rising sun he walks outside. After only a couple of hours of sleep someone with sticky, greyish skin, and bloodshot, zombie-like eyes had looked at him in the mirror of the tiny bathroom. Idea of getting the skin products out of his bag, and doing a more careful routine than usually didn’t even cross his mind. He needs to leave, and couldn’t care less if his face suddenly decided to break into hives.

There is a reddish stain on the door of the room 1. Sebastian puts distance between himself and the door, mind going through details from last night. Surface of the door was already dirty, but he is sure it wasn’t covered by something so primitively red.

Something bad had gone down last night. Memory is like a piece of paper flying in the wind. In turns he tries to catch all the corners of it without success. Maybe it's better to let himself fail at that task. 

He breathes a little easier behind the steering wheel, locked inside his car, but he isn’t given a change to leave without someone noticing it. This time door of the office building is thrown open. 

It’s the guy from last night, sharp-eyed hottie who runs to his car, carrying a worn duffel bag in his left hand. ”Take me with you”, he asks, or pleads, eyes very wide in his pale, fearful face after Sebastian hasn’t driven away like a normal person would have done, but waited for the guy, and opened the window to hear what he wants to say.  

Sebastian warms to people slowly, and has exactly zero reasons to trust this guy, but he is not very willing to leave him in this hellhole either.

”You will drive”, he tells, deciding that it would be easier to control the situation if he didn’t need to focus on the road. He should remember to text the picture of the guy to Stacey and Jeff. They’d know who to look for if some hunters happened to find pieces of his body.  

Sebastian definitely doesn't get all soft inside, when a shy, surprised smile makes an appearance. ”Really? You are really taking me with you?”

Really.


	26. Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What the fuck are you doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Passenger's Let her go always makes me remember my trip to the US.

He had basically crawled in front of Stacey Smythe to get Sebastian’s flight info. Yes, he would pay for her next manicure, and take her to test the new Italian place in the neighborhood, and would gladly give up one of his not vital internal organs if she just told what flight her brother was taking back to the states.

Sebastian had always been his ride or die, but Stacey has a soft spot for him too. With a little desperate smile she shook her head, dark hair falling on her delicate shoulders. ”You don’t need to do any of those things. Let me get a piece of paper, and I’ll write it down for you.”

Now he is here, holding a cup of coffee he had bought from a grumpy lady - bad customer service has always been one of his biggest pet peeves. Flight information boards tells that the flight bringing Sebastian back had just landed. A few minutes later he spots a group of people speaking rapid, native French, and makes a sophisticated guess that they are from Sebastian's flight. Giving a sharp look to man who had just pushed his elbow to Hunter’s ribs, he tries to spot his friend, knowing that a guy like Sebastian can’t look very different after eighteen months in France, but still worries of missing his friend in the flow of people.

Fully engrossed in a conversation with a dark-haired short woman Sebastian walks towards him, and if Hunter didn’t react in next ten seconds, he would disappear in the mass of people. He doesn’t feel ready, and finds himself hoping that his hands would carry weight of some kind of peace offering. They had ended in more than bad terms, and a present, even a cross-eyed teddy bear with a box of cheap chocolate from the gift shop could catch Sebastian’s curiosity, giving him a better change to say what he has in his mind.

Slight annoyance wrinkles Sebastian’s nose when he hears Hunter awkwardly clearing his throat, and notices his old friend standing almost in his personal space. Sebastian keeps his cool though, giving a genuine, warm smile to the lady standing next to him. She is about their age, pretty in a black floral shirt, and a short skirt. Dark hair has been pulled into a neat bun. ”You have my number. Call me. It’s going to be fantastic.”

With a quick hug, and a whiff of expensive perfume she is gone.

Dark sun glasses keep him from seeing real emotions in Sebastian’s eyes. Wrinkled college shirt and dark jeans cover his body. He is a little disheveled like people often are after spending hours in a plane, trying to find a bearable position on an uncomfortable seat. Hunter smells salt faintly, like Sebastian would have munched a small bag of chips in the plane.

”What the fuck are you doing here? Instead of seeing someone whose company I’d enjoy I have to watch your goddamn face.” Sebastian is a little vulnerable, not in his best condition after a long flight, but still he would fight tooth and claw if someone tried to hurt him.

”I wanted to talk.” Hunter tries to pull air in his lungs, immediately disliking his insecure voice. Only Sebastian and memories of their last meeting can make him lose his confidence.

”I think you have talked enough for one lifetime. Let me remind us both of your words. How was it exactly? Now I remember. I was called an easy slut by someone who was never supposed to judge me. He had always had my back.”

Sebastian’s tone is not even angry. It’s completely dry, and it’s obvious that the other man knows how he makes Hunter squirm. It’s deserved. Sebastian’s poor attitude, and embarrassment burning his skin like a serious sunburn are deserved.

”I was envious. It was your last weekend in the states for a while, and I wanted to be the one you would take to the hotel room. And it definitely wasn't everything I wanted.”

Silence is like heavy, thick blanket around them. Sebastian doesn’t say a word, but flinches when Hunter instinctively tries to touch his forearm.

”I don’t have motivation to deal with this right now”, he decides. ”Some lady almost threw up in my lap in the plane, and I have a killer headache. Let me sleep twelve hours, and have a shower. I guess we can talk after that.”

Next morning he is at Sebastian’s building, carrying coffees, and muffins from the coffee shop where they used to meet every Sunday in the old life. He had tried to continue the tradition, solving the crossword from the newspaper, and listening to people speaking in low voices around him, but it wasn’t same without Sebastian’s feet poking his own underneath the table.

He is still a mess, answering the door wearing only an oversized t-shorts, and a pair of boxer briefs. Green luggage has been abandoned a couple of steps after the door. It’s still unopened and unpacked. Sebastian accepts a coffee and a muffin. Carefree gesture of his hand asks Hunter to follow.

They go to Sebastian’s bedroom. It hasn’t changed at all, pictures and posters on the walls are familiar. Window has been opened to bring some fresh air in.

”So tell me why I should allow you back into my social circle?” Hunter only sees a dramatically moving hand from the nest of pillows and blankets he has built on the bed. He is disoriented, trying to find a connection with a different city, different country, and whole different time zone.

”I was envious”, he repeats what the already told at the airport.”

”You were envious. Great. I guess that gave you the right to tell me that I only care about taking the next dick up to my ass, and ask if I have ever considered taking money for it. After all I’m not good for anything else.”

”We have history.” They have.

Hunter remembers two little boys sitting in grass. One of them was his best friend Sebastian, and the other boy had been just hit in the head with a plastic bucket. It was the first thing Hunter’s hand found when the unknown boy was laughing at Sebastian’s collection of small, plastic horses. ”Nobody is mean to my friend”, he told, scaring away the boy who had been laughing just minutes ago. Hunter has always been a little too hot-tempered.

At fifteen Sebastian stood at the doorway of Hunter’s room, way more serious than usually. ”I think I like boys. Not girls.”

Only six months later Hunter had the tongue of an overeager football player in his throat. He was a cynical kid, knew exactly what the guy wanted, but still he couldn’t see the seriousness of the situation until they were alone in the bedroom. That house stood in a neighborhood he didn’t know.

”I liked it. Or I would have liked it it hadn’t gone that far.” Sighing softly Sebastian leaned his head on his friend’s shoulder, and gave him a handful of chewy toffees. ”Don’t you ever put yourself in that kind of danger again. I couldn’t have helped you if Stacey hadn’t happened to know that guy.”

Sebastian might not want anything to do with him anymore, and Hunter would still take a bullet for him. 

”So you don’t really care about my history?”

In his most intimate, silly fantasies Hunter had been Sebastian’s first and only man. But those were only day dreams, he never meant anything serious with them. After all Hunter has dreamed of being Batman too. 

Now Sebastian pushes a couple of pillows away, and props himself up to his elbows. ”I’m going to give you another change, of course. Just don’t ruin it. I can take many shitty things from people, but not that kind of language from you. All of this could have been different if you had implied even one word what you wanted instead of behaving like an asshole.”

He is allowed to climb to the bed with Sebastian. His friend falls asleep, back touching Hunter’s side while Hunter himself goes through pile of dusty books on Sebastian’s night table. _First, there were ten…_ starts the book he chooses.


End file.
